All Fall Down
by Maggsie
Summary: Can Sara save Catherine when a case goes wrong? What will it mean for their relationship? Warning: FEMSLASH. If you don't like it, please don't read
1. Collapse

**Disclaimer **– I don't own CSI but if I did oh the fun I would have.

**This is a challenge set by Nico97 based on the episode 35K O.B.O. **

**It won't get in the way of my other story.**

**Enjoy!**

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'Am I almost at ground zero?' Catherine asks as she very cautiously crawls her way through the collapsed buildings basement to the laundry as the building creaks around her. Three senior citizens had died when the apartment collapsed, Catherine was working solo and she was the only one that was small enough to fit through the gaps to find the cause of the collapse. The only thing linking her to the outside is the head camera she has on which is linked to a monitor. Outside the building Paul Newsome watches the monitor as Catherine carries on crawling.

'Almost about ten more feet, uh, then you should be in the laundry room. You should have more headroom, too.' He replies over the live feed as he watches the monitor intently.

'I feel like I'm crawling through a straw,' crackles through the screen. In the basement Catherine carries on crawling and comes to a complete halt when she's spots a bug crawl across the wood beam. Sensing that Grissom would love to see this bug she examines it closely.

'Sweet,' Catherine exclaims to no-one in particular as she puts the bug into a container.

'What is that? A roach?' Paul asks over the feed.

'I'm not an entomologist, but I know one. He can tell us.' Catherine asks as she puts the container into her pocket. The building creaks and something flies overhead causing the building to tremble. Concrete dust and bits of rock fall on Catherine as she covers her head with her hands. After the dust has settled around her she uncovers her head, stables herself and even slower than before once again starts to crawl. Catherine knew that in a heartbeat that the building could again collapse but as stubborn as ever she had wanted to show O'Riley and Paul that she could do it.

'I thought this building was secure,' she shouts into her microphone as once more the building creaks around her. Outside, Paul watches the monitor growing more and more concerned with Catherine's safety.

'It is secure. Just hang on. The daily sorties. I think that was an F-16.' Paul replies trying to put her mind at ease and not causing her any more distress. Catherine doesn't listen as she carries on crawling. 'Stubborn Cow,' he mutters to himself as overhead another plane flies back over. Catherine covers her head again as more debris falls.

Hearing the noise Paul steps outside his van and watches as the rest of the building collapses into the basement. He steps back into the van and watches as wood and debris fall around Catherine, the red brick dust coming from the debris rises and then the monitor goes black. All he can do is mutter 'shit' under his breath.

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Meanwhile back at the lab, Sara and Grissom are heading for the observation room which is connected to the fluoroscope room where they find Doc. Robbins watching David work on one of their bodies from the suspected car jacking. Sara furrows her brow as she walks towards the doctor.

'Hey Doc, what's with the fluoroscope?' She asks intrigued as she looks the body over through the window, nothing coming to mind as to why they would need to use a fluoroscope.

'When we brought the body into the lab she set off the metal detector.' Doc Robbins answers, after establishing that nothing metal was in the pockets Sara ponders whether she has a plate or pin inside her. Before the Doc is able to answer her question Grissom's cell goes and he excuses himself from the room. She watches Grissom leave and then turns back to Doc. Robbins waiting for his answer.

'I had the same thought, but that's not what we've found. David, take her down.' Robbins orders. David nods and a small smile spreads across his face as he spots Sara in the observation room. Before Sara can smile back Grissom comes rushing back through the door, and as Grissom is not one for rushing Sara immediately knows something is wrong.

'Sara we need to go now. We'll hand this case over to dayshift.' Putting up her hands in surrender, Sara looks at him confused written across her face.

'Grissom, slow down. What's happened?' Catching his breath, he beckons Sara to follow him.

'You know the case that Catherine was working on solo,' Sara nods as they walk down the corridor of the lab, 'well the building collapsed again. That was O'Riley on the phone, the building collapsed while Catherine was in the basement.'

'WHAT? What's the address?' Sara shrieks as she starts walking faster heading for her Denali. 'Gil, come on, I'll drive.' A few paces behind, Grissom eventually catches up with Sara and gets in the passenger side. He holds on to his seat as Sara peels out the parking lot with the flashing lights on. Racing through traffic following Grissom's directions Sara's mind falls to Catherine.

Ah, the strong, independent, gorgeous Catherine; the person that every man and woman would probably kill to have. But the fear of being rejected or humiliated was overpowering the want to take a chance. Catherine was everything she looked for in a woman. Beautiful, caring, kind, tactile well to everyone apart from her. She didn't know what she had done but Catherine had issues with her. Ever since she had started at Las Vegas on Grissom's request she had got the impression that she didn't mean anything to Catherine, she was just the outsider who had walked in one day and investigated one of her best friends. She had tried to get to know Catherine but the 'when the spirit moves you, which in your case will be never,' comment had knocked her for six. Even Warrick the guy she had investigated was cool with her. Shit the guys.

'Grissom, have you called Nick and Warrick?' Sara asks concerned as she swerves round another corner. 'GET OUT THE WAY YOU MORONS.' She shouts as two cars get out of her way, 'thank you.'

'Yeah they're going to meet us there.' Grissom answers his hands holding onto his seat for dear life, the entire colour drained out of him. 'Ok, turn right and then take the second left then we should be there.'

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In the basement, Catherine slowly comes too, opening her eyes all she sees is gapes of light coming through the gaps of the debris. Trying to lift her head she puts it back down when she feels a shot of pain running down her back. She tries to move her legs but she can't feel them. Starting to panic Catherine starts to thrash around; sweat starts to form on her forehead. 'I have to get out of here for Lindsay,' she whispers as her right arm hits something solid.

Getting more and more claustrophobic she tries to shout for help but nothing comes out of her mouth, as pain once overcomes her once more and her eyes droop shut.

Outside, Sara parks the car and runs towards Nick and Warrick who have managed to get there quicker. Sara looks behind to see Grissom lagging behind and stops when she reaches them.

'Hey, what have they said?' She looks at Nick who's running his hand through his hair, and Warrick who has his hands in his pockets starting at the collapsed building. Neither of them answers, as Paul walks towards them with Grissom now having joined them.

'Hi, I'm the engineer for this building,' Paul says and he holds his hand out for them but none of them walk take it. Sara walks towards him getting right in his face.

'If something has happened to Catherine, I will make it personally responsible that you get charged with second degree murder, understand?' She growls in his face as he takes a step back. Nick and Warrick looked at her shocked as she takes another step forward sure that Sara and Catherine weren't even friends, 'Now what the hell is going on?'

'There is a crane coming in about half an hour or so to move some of the rubble, to see if we can get to Catherine.' Paul gulps but Sara takes a step back. She walks towards the building and looks at it intently for a few minutes. She ponders the gaps in the rubble.

'Someone small could fit through these gaps,' she turns back to the boys as they walk towards her.

'Yeah they could,' Warrick agrees as they all stare at the collapsed building, 'but its unsafe, the building could collapse further.'

'Who gives a shit? I'm going in.' Sara announces as she walks away from them towards one of the engineers to grab some equipment. Nicks runs after and grabs her arm stopping her.

'Sara it's too dangerous. You could get hurt too.' He says with a sincere look on his face. Looking into his eyes Sara sees worry and fear in his eyes. Pulling her arm out of his arm she starts to walk away but turns back to him once again.

'I don't care, I'm doing it. We can't leave her in there alone.'

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**Please review I'd like to know what you all think: D (gives puppy eyes)**


	2. Preparing Herself

**Disclaimer **– I don't own CSI but if I did oh the fun I would have.

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, it means a lot to know you all like the challenge. **

**Thanks Nico for being the only bright point in my otherwise shit life at the moment.**

**Anyway enough of the sentiment, on with the chapter!**

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People were bustling around, gathering up equipment for Sara to use when trying to reach Catherine. A few engineers were trying to make the building as secure as they could, but none of that mattered to Sara. All she knew was that she had to help anyway she could. Even if helping meant her getting hurt, it was worth it as long as Catherine was safe.

Sara didn't know what she was going to do when she reached Catherine. Yeah, sure she had the basic first aid training, but knowing how to bandage up a wound wouldn't be helpful if Catherine had internal injuries. None of that would matter though if Catherine was dead.

No! She couldn't think like that. She had to be optimistic, Lindsay was not going to lose her mother and she sure as hell wasn't going to lose a colleague. She took a minute to look around at her colleagues who were all standing near the building talking in hushed voices. Each person of the night shift was different and that's what made them the second best lab in the country. They had the socially challenged quirky introvert bug loving man, the Texan easygoing and friendly gentleman, a recovering gambling addict. Then she thought of herself; an anti – social workaholic. Catherine was the glue that held the team together so why would a social butterfly like Catherine ever want someone like her?

As Sara spots the boys still talking in hushed voices she decides to join them but when she reaches them they all stop talking and turn to look at her. Looking down to check she hasn't got any dirt mark on her she begins to gets agitated.

'Ok, what's going on? You were talking and now you've stopped because I've come over.' Sara furrows her brow as she places her hands on her hips. 'Is one of you going to tell me?'

'Ok, we'll tell you,' Warrick pipes up, 'we don't think it's a good idea to let you go in there.' Sara glares at him then turns her attention to Nick and Grissom.

'You're telling me you want to leave Catherine alone in there in whatever state she's in until the crane gets here, which by the sounds of it is now going to be hours. She's probably petrified, I know I would be. I bet if one of you could fit through the gaps you'd do it in a heartbeat.'

'Yeah we probably would but like you said we don't know what state she's in, she could be in a really bad way, even worse dead.' Sara winces as Nick says that, not daring to believe that it could be true.

'She isn't dead, I'm sure of it. I know I might have only been here a few months but even I know Catherine is a fighter who is too damn stubborn to give in. She would fight for her daughter. That's why I'm doing it; I'm not going to let Catherine fight on her own. She'll probably hate the fact that I'll be there with her but right now I really don't give a shit.' They all look at her in shock as the moving speech spills out of her mouth.

'Look Sara, I know you want to do this but you could get hurt too. The building isn't secure. We should hold on for the crane.' Grissom suggests as he looks back at the building.

'It's a risk I'm willing to take-,' before Sara can speak any further Paul interrupts them with a jumpsuit in his hand.

'I've managed to arrange some equipment together; I have a jumpsuit for you to wear and some head gear. We haven't been able to get hold of a camera but we do have two radios so you can stay in contact via them. I do need to warn you though the building is still very insecure, and could collapse at any minute. You need to make sure you want to do this.'

God, how she wishes she could wipe that constant grin off his face. Who does he think he is anyway? It's probably his fault Catherine's in this mess, she shouldn't have been allowed in their in the first place if it wasn't secure. But then again Catherine wouldn't have listened to him anyway and still gone ahead and done it just to get answers which any great CSI does; puts themselves in danger to get answers for the victims and the victims families.

'I want to do this.'

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In the basement, Catherine opens her eyes once again. Not daring to move in case she causes it to collapse again, or for the pain to be to unbearable that she loses consciousness again she lays there still staring upwards. Someone has to get her out right; they wouldn't just leave her here thinking she's dead, would they?

No, Grissom wouldn't leave her here. She's his best friend, the one person he confided in. Who else's ear would he be able to bend? Warrick and Nick wouldn't stop looking for her; for Lindsay's sake. Yet she didn't know what Sara would do. Yeah she hadn't made the time to get to know her and had been a bit hostile towards her but she had come in and investigated Warrick; one of her closest friends. Yet there was something about Sara that made her intriguing. She wasn't sure what it was, but the fact that Sara closed herself up from everyone made it more interesting for her to find out.

Trying to move one of her legs she let out a cry as the pain shot through her body. Clenching her teeth together she waited for the pain to subside a bit before trying to breath properly again.

Wishing someone would come soon, she let her mind wander to Lindsay.

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Pulling the jumpsuit over her clothes, Sara was getting more anxious as time wore on worrying about Catherine. Stepping forward Nick placed the hard hat on Sara's head.

'I can see it in your eyes Sara, you're worried. Don't do it if you're worried.'

'Nick, I'm not worried about going in. I've never been so sure about anything in my life, but I'm worried what state I'm going to find Catherine in. I know I have a first aid kit with me, but it might not be enough for her injuries.' Nick grabbed Sara's shoulders and looked directly into her eyes.

'All you can do is be there for her and reassure her she's going to be alright. If there is any bleeding your job is to just put pressure on it, there's nothing more you can do than that.'

'Well then I hope it will be enough.' Sara lets out a huge sigh looking ahead at the collapsed building. Grissom and Warrick walk over to her. Grissom starts checking things off.

'Ok, so you have your Radio?' Grissom asks.

'Check!' And she pulls it out of her pocket then back in.

'And is it working?' Sara gives him a 'duh' expression as he carries on, 'first aid kit?'

'Check!'

'Torch?'

'Check!'

'Well then that's everything, now one more time I am going to ask you. Are you sure you want to do this?'

'How many times do I have to tell you? I am doing this.' Grissom lets out a sigh as he sees the determined look on her face, knowing she will never back down now that she has her mind set on it.

'Ok but be careful ok? Remember what Paul told you, go slow so as to avoid another collapse. We'll have the other radio so if you get in any trouble, let us know.'

Nick and Warrick walk with her to the edge of the collapsed building and pull her in for hugs wishing her good luck. Getting down on all fours she very slowly makes her way in, looking for any sign that would lead her to Catherine.

'Please let her be ok, please let her be ok,' she mutters as she starts making her way through the rubble, 'please let her be ok.'

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**Please review with a cherry on top! :D**


	3. In Search Of

**Disclaimer **– I don't own CSI but if I did oh the fun I would have.

**Oh, my days! Thanks for all the great reviews! It means a lot when I see them pop up!**

**Anyway enjoy the chapter!**

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Keeping her eye on what was in front of her; Sara very cautiously made her way through the gaps, only having to stop once or twice to move some bricks out the way. But the deeper she crawled the more enclosed the spaces got, and the smaller the spaces got the harder it was to control her breathing. You see, she was a closet claustrophobic. Actually she was probably in the closet about most things, her sexuality being the main one. Right now though, she found it particularly hard to breathe, the gaps seemed to enclose around her. But yet she kept going, until she came to a wooden beam blocking her path.

'Oh shit,' she muttered under her breath as she looked the beam up and down, taking a minute to catch her breath. The beam was huge so there was no way she was going to be able to lift it on her own. Maybe if she tried and moved some of the bricks around it she could worm her way through, but that could cause the whole thing to collapse again and then there was no chance of helping Catherine. But if she moved them correctly then the wooden beam should hold the rest of the bricks.

This is Grissom's fault she decided. If Grissom hadn't sent Catherine solo then this wouldn't have happened. Someone would have stopped her going in even if it meant being verbally attacked. She would definitely not have let Catherine in, no way in hell.

Deciding that the only thing she could do she started moving bricks from underneath the beam so she could clamber underneath it. One by one Sara moved the bricks and held her breath waiting for it to collapse.

With only a few bricks left the building creaked around her, and then it got louder. Sara watched as the beam fell bringing a load of bricks down with it. She covered her head and lay there as bricks tumbled, this was definitely not good. Sara moaned as the bricks fell on top of her, grimacing as with each brick came a shot of pain. She bit into her tongue to stop herself from shouting out.

After a few minutes the bricks stopped coming. Sara winced as she crawled out from underneath the bricks over the beam that had caused the collapse in the first place. She knew she would have to work through the pain to get too Catherine, but the dust that had came from the bricks made it harder to breath. Not giving a shit, she crawled on, through the minute gaps. She had no idea how deep Catherine had gone; she could run out of gaps to crawl through.

She looked straight ahead and she saw it: a glimmer of golden red that could only belong to one person…..

Catherine.

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Still not daring to move Catherine lay there, hoping that someone would come for her soon. Thinking about Lindsay which was the only thing keeping her sane at that moment.

Lindsay was the only good thing that came out of her marriage with Eddie. Lindsay was the single most important person in her life at that moment, so she wasn't just going to lie down and die; she had to fight. Catherine knew that Lindsay wouldn't be a sweet little girl much longer so she had to make the most of it while she could. Before long she would be a teenager, but she wouldn't miss it for the world.

Looking back at her marriage with Eddie; well it should have been over years ago. So why did she keep taking him back? She didn't know now but back then she wanted to be loved and wanted. She wanted him to support her and their daughter. Even when she learnt of his liaisons with other women she still took him back and ended up supporting him, first through her dancing and then as her job as CSI.

She was ready to be loved again, since Eddie she hadn't been with anyone else. It was about time she let someone in to her heart and then trusts them with it. But that was hard to find after all she was more or less a single mother until it suited Eddie. But right now she couldn't think about that, she had to concentrate on fighting and surviving.

Hearing a rustling she twitched, and prayed to herself hoping it wasn't a rat or a mouse. She clamped her eyes shut until she felt something on her face. She slowly looked up to see teary brown eyes staring down at her...

Sara.

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'HOW MUCH LONGER IS THAT CRANE GOING TO BE?' Grissom shouted to Paul as Nick paced up and down; muttering inaudible things to himself.

'Another hour or so, they know it's an emergency so they're being as quick as they can. I'll just go and see if I can find the head engineer.' Paul answered then walked away leaving just the three CSI's not knowing what to do while everyone else bustled round.

'Nick, will you stop pacing man? You're giving me a damn headache!' Warrick exclaimed, as he grabbed Nick by the shoulders and stopped him still.

'I'm sorry, I'm just worried. What if it collapses again, then they are both stuck.' Nick answered running his hand through his hair. If he was honest himself he'd say he was petrified, scared of losing the pair. Grissom and he were probably the only two that had fully welcomed Sara into the group. They had even taken part in some harmless flirting. What he wouldn't give to go back to that so Catherine and Sara were safe 'Warrick, we should have tried harder to stop her going in.'

'You heard Sara; she wanted to go in man. I don't like it anymore than you do but we couldn't have stopped her even if we wanted too which we did. You must have seen the determined look on her face,' Warrick rationalizes.

'I know, I don't think I've ever met someone so stubborn and determined.'

'I have,' Nick turned to look at him giving Warrick a questioning look, 'Catherine! They're both as stubborn as each other.' Both letting out a little chuckle they turned once more to watch the building.

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Spotting the glimpse of golden hair, Sara crawled faster through the rubble and quickly made her way over to where Catherine was trapped. Noticing her eyes were shut she swallowed back a gulp until two pools of blue stared back at her.

'Sara,' Catherine whispered as she tried to move again. Noticing how much pain Catherine was in she interrupted her before she could carry on.

'Try not to talk, you have to try and keep your energy.' Looking down Catherine's body Sara could see that her left leg was trapped by a wooden beam, she had deep wounds all down her arms and her left wrist looked badly broken. The deep red that had seeped through her jumpsuit suggested she had nasty wounds on her stomach from the bricks. A black eye was already developing on her right eye and she had two nasty head wounds, one on her temple and one just above her right eyebrow. Pulling her radio out she tried to contact Grissom but all she got was a crackle. 'Shit,' Sara muttered but noticing Catherine's discomfort she never said anything else. 'I'm going to try and lift some of these bricks ok, to ease your discomfort.' Catherine nodded and Sara started very slowly lifting off the bricks.

Every now and then Catherine would let out a hiss in pain but she assured Sara that she should carry on. After Sara had lifted the majority of bricks off of Catherine she set about making sure Catherine was ok.

'I want to try and cover your head wounds to stop infection, ok?' Catherine nodded. Pulling out a couple of pads from the first aid kit, Sara wiped the wounds clear of dirt and covered them.

'You're hurt too,' Catherine whispered as she noticed the gashes on Sara's face for the first time.

'I'm not, they're fine.' Before Catherine could answer back her eyes drooped shut. Panicking Sara yet again found it hard to breath.

'Catherine, please wake up. You have to stay awake! I can't do this alone. Catherine!'

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**Mwahahahahaha! (Insert evil laugh)**

**Make it at least 35 reviews and they'll be an update tomorrow! That's right – a bribe: D**


	4. Calming Influence

**Disclaimer **– I don't own CSI but if I did oh the fun I would have.

**You all outdid yourselves so thank you all for the reviews!!**

**Here is the next instalment!**

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She didn't know what to do. Catherine had shut her eyes and hadn't opened them in what seemed like forever, but there was a pulse. Sara wanted to shake her awake but she knew she couldn't do that without inflicting more pain on Catherine. Looking down at her now, she didn't know what the right thing to do was. She had never looked so beautiful even with white patches on her head; she had never looked so natural, so innocent. But under all that she had no doubt that Catherine had hidden turmoil, a single mother with a demanding job. She didn't know much about Catherine's marriage to Eddie, but what she had heard made her cringe. How could Eddie treat someone like Catherine like shit?

What Sara did know was that she had to try and keep Catherine awake. She couldn't shout she knew that it could cause another collapse. In the end she tried something that she had used on her brother when they were younger to wake him up. Bending over Catherine's face, she winced as the pain from her wounds on her back came through full force. Grimacing through the pain she slowly began to blow on Catherine's face; gently at first then blowing harder.

Sara nearly squealed in delight as Catherine's eyes slowly fluttered open. She kneeled back as she allowed Catherine to focus in on where she was. She watched as tears fell from Catherine's eyes. Yet she didn't want to comfort her as Catherine probably wouldn't appreciate it.

'I'm going to die, aren't I?' Catherine whispered. This was the first time Sara had seen the vulnerable side of Catherine. Even after Holly Gribbs Catherine had never let her composure fall. Catherine turned her head to look at Sara, and Sara took her right hand in hers.

'You are not going to die, you hear me? You have to fight this, the guys are going to get here as fast as they can and then you can see Lindsay. Lindsay needs her mother to be strong. Ok?' Catherine looked at her in disbelief and then nodded her head.

'How come you're here?' Catherine couldn't understand why Sara was with her. They had hardly worked any cases together and they hadn't got to know each other. She knew that Sara got on better with the boys, yet she was glad Sara was with her and not some stranger. Sara was keeping her calm and she couldn't be more thankful for that.

'Because I was the only one that was small enough to fit through the gaps,' Catherine turned her head away, 'and because I didn't want you to be stuck here on your own.' She turned her head back towards Sara who had gained a new fascination in her hands.

'Thank you Sara.' That's all Catherine could convey for how thankful she was, for Sara being with her.

'You're welcome; I'm just going to try the radio again.' Sara pulled out the radio from her pocket and turned it on, this time not getting a crackle. 'Grissom are you there?'

'_Yeah I'm here Sara, how's Catherine?' _Sara looked at Catherine and smiled.

'She's alive; but one of her legs is trapped under a beam. She has what looks like a broken left wrist and two nasty head wounds on her head. Also a wound on her stomach but I can't reach it, how long till you can reach us?'

'_Crane won't be here for another half an hour. Sorry. Just keep her calm and we'll be there as soon as possible.' _Having heard the crane wouldn't be there for another half an hour Catherine let tears fall again, and Sara squeezed her hand.

'Ok, thanks Grissom and hurry please.'

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'As you might have or not heard, Catherine is alive. But by the sounds of it she has a badly injured leg, a broken left wrist and two nasty wounds on her head.' Nick and Warrick let out a sigh of relief at hearing Catherine was alive.

'How did Sara sound?' Nick asked as the three men watched everyone rushing around.

'Honestly? She sounded scared, I told her to keep Catherine calm but she needs to stay calm herself.' Grissom looked at the forlorn faces on Nick and Warrick, 'but she's ok.' Grissom emphasised.

'Is there anything we can do while we wait for the crane?' Warrick asked his boss.

'Well the head engineer has declared the building safe, and has given the go ahead to start clearing the rubble while we wait for the crane.'

'Then what are we waiting for? We might get to them quicker.' Nick explained as he and Warrick started to walk towards the rubble.

'We need to put safety equipment on,' but Grissom stopped talking as Nick and Warrick walked further away, and Grissom followed behind coming to the conclusion that the whole night shift was stubborn.

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Catherine and Sara sat in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say in the situation, but still holding hands both wishing to seek comfort. Still struggling to breathe properly, Catherine looked at her concerned. She had never seen the worried side of her younger colleague apart from the case with Brenda. Sara claimed she wasn't good with kids but after seeing Sara with Brenda, Catherine thought the opposite, she just didn't tell her.

'Are you ok Sidle?' Catherine finally asked breaking the increasingly awkward silence. Sara looked at her with her eyebrow raised. 'You're struggling to breath.'

'I'm ok, just a bit scared about enclosed spaces. I'm claustrophobic.' Sara turned her head away from Catherine embarrassed. 'Anyway it should be me asking you, if you're okay?'

'Honestly, I could do with a fag right about now.' Sara let out a little chuckle, but my head is banging, my arm is killing and I can't feel my leg, I hate feeling weak.' Catherine gulped back the tears at how much pain she was in but she didn't want to worry her younger colleague. Seeing this side of Sara, made her realise that she should try to get to know her.

'We'll be out of here soon, I promise.' Sara never made promises that she never kept, so she knew it was true.

'Yeah but you didn't even have to be here, and you got hurt for the sake of it.' Catherine scolded like any mother could. 'You're just damn stubborn Sidle.'

'I might be, but I came to help you, and I'm not leaving without taking you with me, so you either shut up and let me help you or well just shut up.' Catherine looked at her astonished. She knew Sara was right, if was nice to have someone with her, she wouldn't know what she would have done if she had been on her own. Finally Catherine relented.

'Ok, I'll shut up, but I still think you are damn stubborn.'

'Do you always have to have the last word Willows?' Sara smirked as Catherine smiled at her. Her pale skin bringing out Catherine's sparkling blue eyes. 'And just so you know I blame you for this mess.' Sara smirked letting Catherine know she was joking.

'I thought you might,' Catherine smirked back enjoying it, having never seen this side of her colleague before and liking it. 'But thank you for being here,' Catherine added in all seriousness, 'and you need to get your wounds checked out once we get out.'

'You're welcome, and I will. You would have done the same for me, I hope.'

Before Catherine could answer back, a huge explosion came from behind them. Swearing she could hear running water, she looked up at Sara who she thought must have heard the running water too. But her thoughts were quickly turned too the rumbling of the building. More bricks started to fall as she started to scream but no sound came out. Sara not caring about her own safety clambered over Catherine's body protecting her from the falling bricks.

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'What was that?' Nick asked as he looked up from where he was digging and looked at Grissom and Warrick who were digging a few metres away, swearing he had heard an explosion.

'I don't know Nick, but it didn't sound good. I'll try the radio,' Grissom answered as he pulled out the radio. 'Sara, Sara are you there? Answer me,' all he got was silence from the other end.

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**Sorry I just had to put another cliffy in, you know what you have to do. Please: D**


	5. Getting To Grips

**Disclaimer **– I don't own CSI but if I did oh the fun I would have.

**Sorry for not updating soon but real life shit got in the way yesterday and it's still not sorted but I made myself post the next part. **

**Here is the next instalment!**

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Catherine heard a crackle over the radio, which was now trapped under a small pile of bricks that had fallen. She tried to move her top half of her body slightly to the right to reach it. She managed to move slightly but the pain in her back from even moving the slightest stopped her in her tracks; there was no way she could move. Sara had taken a nasty bang to the head and was unconscious. Sara Sidle had risked her own life to save hers; and for her troubles had been badly hurt.

Catherine looked down at Sara's head as her head had dropped over Catherine's shoulder as the bricks had came tumbling down. Just behind her ear was a nasty wound which was now framed by dried blood. She wouldn't even think Sara was alive if she couldn't feel Sara's heart beating against her lower ribs.

Yet there was something troubling her, she could have sworn she heard running water just after the explosion and now she couldn't hear anything, apart from the odd creak from the building. She hoped that she would be able to hear people, maybe Gil, Warrick or Nick by that time but apart from the odd creak she could hear a pin drop. But above all, she hoped that Sara would wake up and assure her that they were going to get out okay.

She wished now that she could have got to know her younger colleague better, maybe gone out to breakfast. Maybe they still could, if they ever got out. Catherine also knew why she hadn't done so. If she was truthful she would say that she was jealous of a younger, smarter woman who Grissom had called in their hour of need. If she was lying she would say that the younger woman riled her up. Sara had the second best solve rate in the lab and that was only second to Gil. Now who wouldn't be jealous of her?

Sara wasn't the hardest person to look at either, she would admit that seeing as she was bisexual. How could she not be after seeing so many beautiful women dancing in barely anything? Looking down at Sara's head again, it came to her that Sara was exactly her type; tall, dark with a bit of a mysterious side, someone who doesn't take shit off anyone.

She also knew that Sara didn't have many friends, seeing as she had only been in Vegas for 10 months or so and threw herself into her work. At that moment Catherine decided that she would get to know Sara better and give her a bit of slack at work, starting as soon as they got out.

Catherine felt around the basement floor with her right hand trying to find the flashlight that she assumed Sara had brought one with her, it was now getting darker and it was getting harder to see anything.

She brushed her hand across the bricks that had fallen. She muttered a shit as she felt nothing but bricks. She slowly turned her head to the left, careful not to create more problems with her injuries. Under some bricks was a blue streak which she knew was the backpack Sara had brought with her that had everything in it. There was no way she could reach it; Sara suspected she had broken her left wrist so she wasn't going to risk it.

As she was about to turn her head back something glistened in the little light there was. Bending her head a bit further; she grimaced against the pain. She knew she hadn't imagined things; there was running water by them.

'Sara, you have to wake up. Sara!' Catherine started to panic as the water started trickling closer, Sara didn't move an inch. 'Sara please wake up.' She tried to nudge her with her right shoulder but she didn't move. 'SARA, WAKE UP PLEASE! YOU'RE LATE FOR WORK.'

She couldn't help but chuckle a little but then turned to the water again as Sara let out an almost inaudible groan.

'SARA, COME ON WAKE UP.'

'I don't want to get up yet,' Sara mumbled in her shoulder and snuggled in closer. The water was very slowly making its way nearer; where it had already reached it had started to get deeper.

'SARA IF YOU DON'T GET UP RIGHT NOW, I WILL MAKE SURE THEY LEAVE YOU IN HERE, NOW GET UP!' That seemed to do the trick as very steadily Sara sat up on all fours staring down at her. Their eyes locked for a minute both searching for something. Sara was the first to break eye contact as she put her hand to her ear and winced as she felt the wound; pulling her hand back she noticed the blood on her fingers. Catherine had gone back to staring at the water. Sara followed her gaze and her eyes widened as she noticed the water for the first time.

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Grissom kept trying the radio but all he got now was a crackle, Warrick was still digging while Nick had gone back to pacing back and forth. A few minutes before the head engineer had informed them that the most likely cause for the explosion was a burst water pipe.

'I'm not getting an answer,' Grissom explained as he handed the radio to Nick. Nick tried a few buttons but still got nothing so he threw the radio down in frustration, smashing it to little pieces. 'Now how are we going to get hold of them?' Grissom sighed in frustration.

'I'm sorry, I really am. But this is damn frustrating. The crane should have been here hours ago and we haven't even got very far with the digging.'

'Nick, remember they are both very stubborn women, they won't give in. They won't let each other give in. They may not get on well but they will support each other.'

'Grissom, I want to go in.' Nick said defiantly looking at Grissom straight in the eyes.

'Nick you can't go in, you're not small enough. Besides its even more dangerous now than when Sara went in.' Nick let out a big sigh in frustration as he followed Grissom back to carry on digging

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Seeing the water next to them Sara rolled off of Catherine very slowly ignoring the pain, muttering a sorry as she did trying not to hurt Catherine. If she was honest with herself she was petrified, she had no idea what to do and no idea how to get Catherine out with her being injured herself. She watched as the water fell over a couple of bricks falling into the ground behind Catherine's head.

The look on Catherine's made her even more scared, she had never seen anyone look so scared, trying to block the image out she willed her stubbornness to come back and think of an idea but Catherine broke the silence first. She had to try and stay calm.

'Sara, you need to get out.' Sara looked down at her in shock taking in the suggestion. She scoffed at the audacity of the idea.

'There is no way I am leaving you Cat.' Sara winced as she remembered Catherine hated being called that, but Catherine was just smiling. 'I promised we would get out, and I meant both of us. I need to try and lift this beam off your leg.' The water was now covering Catherine's ears and had started to trickle down to rest under the rest of her body.

Sara started pulling out rocks from around each end of the beam, carefully placing them so as to try and stop the water but with no luck. A few minutes passed before the beam was close to being ready to move.

'Catherine, I'm not going to lie but this is probably going to hurt like shit, and we have no idea how bad your leg is.' Sara reached forward and grabbed Catherine's hand and squeezed it. Catherine nodded as Sara let go.

'Sara, just for the record, I don't think you should be doing this. You're injured yourself.' Sara reached down and steadied herself as she pushed bother her hands underneath the beam.

'Right at this moment, I don't care. We need to get out and we will, I promised remember?'

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**So that's it for that chapter, please review, I like to know what you think.**

**If anyone can help though, I need some advice on this story. Message me if you can help. Thanks**

**Maggsie x**


	6. The Rescue

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters if I did this would be happening on TV and I wouldn't have let Sara go, it would also be alot of fun!

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it means a lot. Thank you Crys!!**

**Well, here is the next instalment! **

**Enjoy!**

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Ok, so now what was she going to do? There was no way that she could lift the beam on her own. She looked up; the ceiling was close, only a metre above them, and was close to collapsing. It was only supported by other beams that were supporting all the weight, if one of them fell then the whole four floors would collapse and they would both be dead. She looked behind Catherine where the water was coming from, no chance they could get out that way. Then she looked behind her, the way she had come in which had been blocked by the bricks and rubble that had fallen. All she could see was bricks and dirt.

Once again, she placed her hands under the beam trying to lift, letting out a grunt as all her energy went into lifting the beam off of Catherine. Again it didn't budge an inch. Trying to catch her breath back she punched the beam in frustration.

'Aw fuck,' she shouted as she pressed her other arm over her hand trying to stop the pain. She looked over at Catherine who was grimacing, the water still slowly growing deeper minute by precious minute. Sara was kneeling at it was now up to her knees. Seeing Catherine's face she tried the beam once again, but she had to stop when her hand throbbed with pain.

'Sara stop, it's not going to move,' Catherine said as the chocolate eyed CSI turned her attention back to the trapped blonde whose features were laden both with worry and fear. 'Get out while you still can.'

'Catherine, I will say it again, I'm not leaving you. There has to be a way,' she muttered to herself as she glanced down at her hand which was red and raw from pulling and pushing on the heavy beam.

'The water is getting deeper, and the beam won't move. I'm not going to make it.' Catherine lifted up her head a little to stop from being submerged by the water. Sara noticed her backpack and pulled it out from under all the bricks and placed it under Catherine's head so that she wouldn't have trouble breathing—at least not for a few more minutes.

'You're going to make it. The crane will be working overtime right now, ok? We've just got to hold on a little while longer.' Sara knew she was trying to comfort herself as much as she was Catherine. She didn't want to die.

'Will you tell Lindsay that I love her, please?' Sara took her hand again and squeezed it as tears streamed Catherine's cheeks.

'You can tell her yourself when you get out. I am not going to let Lindsay grow up without her mother, understand? I'd swap places right now if I could, but you are going to see her again.' This seemed to make it worse as the torrent of tears increased from Catherine.

The water seemed to be rushing quicker now and Sara watched as the water reached Catherine's ears again growing closer and closer to covering her mouth. She just wanted to scream or shout but on the other hand she wanted to pray. She wanted the object of her affection to get out alive and to see her daughter again.

When Sara turned back to Catherine after contemplating getting her out alive, the water was now covering her face. Catherine fought to lift up her head up further so that she could breathe, but the pain was too much. Sara looked at the anguish on Catherine's face. Catherine took one final gulp of air as the water covered her face while it rose further around Sara. Sara felt completely helpless; if Catherine died she knew that she could never get over it.

She knew she had to find a way to help Catherine breathe. She scanned the debris looking for a bit of hose or something hollow that she could put in Catherine's mouth so that she could breathe and found nothing. She thought back, trying to remember if she had seen or heard of anything that would help her right now. Then it clicked, Nick had only last week been talking about scuba diving as he had seen it on the Discovery Channel. He said that they could help each other breathe using another person's mask. But she didn't have a mask and Catherine's eyes had now shut. Maybe if she breathed air into her mouth it could work the same way. It was worth a try.

Sara took a deep gulp of air and leaned down under the water. She put her hands on either side of Catherine's face and placed her moth over the plump lips she had so often fantasized about kissing and blew some of her air into her mouth, coming up for air when needed.

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'Ok the crane should be near them. It's moved all the debris away that they crawled in to earlier and has stopped a few metres from where they should be. Paul is going to crawl in and see if he can get to them, but he wants one of you to go with him.' Grissom explained to Nick and Warrick as they both glanced at each other then back at Grissom.

'Grissom I want to go in.' Nick spoke up, 'I'm close to Sara and close to Catherine. I want to make sure they are ok and safe. Besides, I'm a bit smaller than Rick here,' Nick explained as he looked again at Warrick who was nodding.

'Ok Nick. Go and see Paul over there, he'll suit you up.' Nick nodded and walked over to Paul taking the jumpsuit, hard hat and breathing equipment from him. He was trying to remain calm but underneath he was anxious. Being the closest to Sara he knew that she would be devastated if Catherine died.

'Ok, I need to you to stay close behind me. They shouldn't be too far in, so there shouldn't be too much rubble we have to move.'

'Ok, I'm ready,' Nick exclaimed through the mask as he put his hard hat on and followed Paul to the debris the crane hadn't moved. He got down on all fours and groaned as the air tank he had on suddenly felt heavier, He followed Paul through the building, hoping that this would be a rescue mission and not simply the recovery of Sara and Catherine's bodies.

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Sara came up for air for a third time before going back down to press her lips against Catherine's and breathe into her mouth. After the first go she was worried that she could be filling Catherine's stomach up with air and not her lungs. She didn't even know if Catherine was still alive for that matter she just knew she had to keep going. Catherine wasn't responding, her eyes were locked tight and her skin from the water had started going slightly blue.

Each time she came up for air the water had inched higher. The eighth time she came up, the water was over her nose, and she had to stretch up as far as she could to get some air. Once again, she faithfully lowered her face into the water and shared her last remaining breath with Catherine. This was it, she was going to die. She was going to drown to death and Lindsay was going to grow up without a mother.

Suddenly and without warning, Sara heard a crash behind her and felt the water around her rush out. She let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding as she saw Nick and Paul inching toward them with air equipment. She immediately reached down and carefully took Catherine's wrist in her hand. Catherine still had a pulse. She couldn't help but laugh at the situation as she was too exhausted and emotional to even cry.

Together, Paul and Nick managed to dislodge the beam that was pinning Catherine's leg and that had nearly killed her. Sara couldn't help but grimace at it, her stomach lurching at the sight. Her leg was definitely broken and her jumpsuit had torn, revealing that where there should have been skin, now bone was clearly visible.

The taller CSI felt herself being pushed aside as Paul pushed past her to reach Catherine. She should have felt relieved but all she felt was anger at him for pushing her aside like nothing. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned round to see a smiling Nick Stokes looking back at her. She wrapped her arms around him as she let the tears fall; the tears that she had held back through the entire ordeal.

She watched as Paul put his arms under the out cold Catherine's legs and under her back and carried her out through the bigger gap they had created. Sara followed behind with an around her from Nick. She couldn't help but shudder as the severity of the incident kicked in.

Everything was a blur as she was rushed to the ambulance along with Catherine who was now on a gurney. She took a seat next to Catherine; she looked beautiful even with an oxygen mask on. She looked back out of the ambulance doors and gave Nick a small smile. Guessing that Paul had to stay at the site, the doors closed. Sara took Catherine's right hand in hers and placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles, as they raced to the hospital.

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**Please could you take a minute out of your time to review, please? (Gives puppy eyes)**


	7. Gearing Up

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters if I did this would be happening on TV and I wouldn't have let Sara go, it would also be alot of fun!

**Thank you so much for all your reviews! I don't think I have had so many reviews for one chapter! Thanks again!**

**A special thank you goes to Crystal: D (I was tempted to put your full name!) for all her wonderful support! Thank you**

**Here is the next part of the story!**

**Enjoy!**

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As soon as they reached the hospital, Catherine was rushed out of the ambulance and inside. Sara went to follow but a nurse stopped her from going with her by putting her hands up in front of her. Sara's eyes went from where Catherine had gone through the doors to the nurse. The nurse was a couple of inches smaller than Sara and she couldn't have been more than 30.

'You need to get checked out first,' the nurse explained quietly. Sara wanted to protest but thought better of it as the thumping pain in her head came through full force. She had been so caught up with Catherine that she had forgotten she was injured. Sara followed the nurse into a private room, where she lay down on the bed. The nurse disappeared after telling her she had to go to the nurse's station and came back a few minutes later with some antiseptic cream. 'I'm just going to clean the wounds on your head.'

Sara winced as the cream stung, her eyes watering up from the pain of the cream. She didn't want this, she just wanted to go and see if Catherine was okay. But for now she would just have to live with the fact that Catherine was alive, hopefully. The nurse moved to her arms as Sara looked down to see the full extent of her injuries. Her arms were covered with red raw wounds; her jumpsuit had hardly protected her as it was ripped to shreds. She lifter her legs up to see that the trousers on the jumpsuit were also ripped to shreds.

'Okay, can you take your jumpsuit off for me?' The nurse asked as Sara jumped up and struggled to take off the jumpsuit with one hand. She suddenly felt self-conscious as she was only wearing a tank top and shorts. Looking down again she noticed blood on her white tank top. Sara slowly lifted it up to let the nurse see.

'That's going to have to be stitched,' the nurse commented as she gingerly cleaned around the wound she had discovered on Sara's abdomen.

She waited for the nurse to finish her ministrations before taking a look for herself. Sara was surprised to find five inch wound crossing along her stomach. She couldn't even recall how she had gotten that gash.

After an hour of being treated, the nurse left Sara in the room alone with her thoughts. She looked up to see Nick enter the room. The relief spread across his face as he walked across and pulled her in for a hug, not caring what she looked like with her matted hair.

'So what did the nurse say?' Nick asked as he took a seat next to Sara on the bed.

'Well I've broken three of my knuckles,' holding up her hand to show him the cast, 'I've also sprained my ankle, apparently got a nasty wound on the back of my head and I had to have a wound on my stomach stitched up. The rest are just cuts and bruises. Other from that I'm okay.' She chuckled which turned into a yawn.

'Sar, you need to sleep.' Nick said in his best big brother voice.

'I'm not sleeping before I know how Catherine is.' Sara insisted as she locked eyes with Nick giving him a glare that demanded answers.

Nick put an arm around her shoulders and attempted to comfort her.

'She's alive; she's just been taken into surgery. She has a broken left fibula and an open dislocation of her left ankle. She has a broken wrist, two crushed ribs and she's been taken into theatre to stop the internal bleeding. You saved her Sara. You did it. You need to rest so you can see her when she gets out of surgery. Okay?'

Sara let the tears fall as it hit her just how lucky they had been to get out alive. Her mortality had never crossed her mind. She had been so intent on getting Catherine out, common sense and self-preservation had been totally ignored.

'When can we see her?' Sara asked through the sobs as Nick tried to flatten her hair where it was all matted and stuck up on ends.

'We won't be able to see her till after she's had surgery, even then she may not be responsive. If the surgery goes well then we can see her otherwise we will have to wait till tomorrow.' Nick had an apologetic look on his face as he explained it to Sara.

'I don't care, I need to see her.' Sara felt her eyes starting to droop as tiredness kicked in.

'You can after you've been to sleep.' Sara nodded and lay back on the bed as Nick placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before she let sleep overcome her, not before thinking how she was now truly part of the group. Nick was the man she wished her own brother could be.

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Sara woke up a bit startled at not remembering where she was. She slowly looked around and as she realized she was in a hospital, the events that led her there replayed in her head. A smile crossed her face as she saw Nick sitting in the corner of the room asleep with his head resting on his palm and his elbow on the armrest. She stood up gingerly up and hobbled over to him, shaking his shoulder to stir him.

'Nick, wake up.' Nick opened his eyes and immediately stood up and then got head rush from standing up too quickly which made him sit back down after realizing nothing was wrong. Sara couldn't help but giggle, and then turned serious. 'How long was I asleep?'

'Well I came back in about an hour ago. You've been asleep about 10 hours.' Sara let out a gasp because she had never ever slept that long. The most she had ever slept was 8 hours and even that was a rarity.

'How's Catherine?' Sara asked with a bit of apprehension in her voice.

'When I left, she was awake. She wanted to see you, but I couldn't wake you up. You needed to rest.' Nick stated as he looked at Sara in her hospital gown. 'Have you looked at yourself? You could make more of an effort.' Sara smiled and then gave him a playful swat on the arm. 'Come on, I'll show you to the room.'

Sara followed him on crutches that the nurse had left for her as they walked down a few corridors before coming to Catherine's room. She looked through the door to see Grissom talking to her. Catherine still had an oxygen mask on and only removed it to speak. Sara cringed at all the other machines that Catherine was connected too. Her leg was in a plaster mould and her wrist was strapped up. In the light the bruises on her face were clearly visible. Nick caught the look on Sara's face and placed a hand on her shoulder.

'Sara, it looks a lot worse than it is. They say she's going to be fine. Now, let's get you in there.' Nick pushed open the door and gave Catherine a smile as Sara came into the room, and then left them to it. Grissom stood up and made his way over to Sara and place a hand on her shoulder.

'I'm glad you're okay Sara.' Grissom said in a sincere voice as he followed Nick out of the room. Sara hobbled her way over and sat on a chair on the right to Catherine's bed, neither of them saying anything for a few minutes. Catherine removed her mask and was the first to break the silence.

'Sara, I just have to say….well all I can say is thank you. Thank you for saving my life,' Catherine reached over with her right hand and took Sara's hand in her own.

'I'd do it again if I had too,' Sara squeezed the blonde CSI's hand and looked into her eyes for a few minutes, 'so has Lindsay been in yet?'

'Yeah she came in a couple of hours ago; Nancy took her home with her. She has school and I don't really want her missing any,' Catherine took a minute, 'Sara I would really like to get to know you. I was a bitch the last few months and I want to make it up to you if you'd let me.'

'There is nothing I would like more.' A huge grin spread across Catherine's face. This was her chance to tell Catherine how she really felt. It may be in a hospital but she just wanted to get it off her chest. She decided she was going to ask Catherine out on a date. 'Catherine, um….I was wondering-.'

Just as Sara was about to get the courage to ask Catherine, the room door swung open. Both of them looked up, a smile spread across Catherine's face and Sara suddenly felt sick.

There stood in the doorway was Paul.

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**Seeing it was my birthday yesterday and I was working on this, I think I deserve extra special reviews please?? (Cue puppy dog eyes)**


	8. Intrusion

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters if I did this would be happening on TV and I wouldn't have let Sara go, it would also be alot of fun!

**Thankyou to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and I'm very sorry for not updating sooner. Thanks again scuby!**

**And away we go!**

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Sara didn't know what to do with herself. Should she stay or go back to her room? Her eyes strayed from Paul, who had some flowers in his hands, and then back to Catherine who now had a big smile on her face. Sara withdrew her hand from Catherine's and rested it on her lap.

'I just came to see how you're doing,' Paul explained as he walked through the door and walked to the foot of the bed. 'After what you've been through, the least I could do was bring you some flowers, where shall I put them?'

'Thank you they're beautiful, on the window shelf if you could.' Catherine asked as Paul put the flowers in the window. Catherine looked over at Sara, but she was just looking at her hands in her lap and not making eye contact. Paul turned back around as Catherine stopped looking at Sara to look at Paul.

'So how are you doing?' Paul asked again coming to the other side of the bed, putting himself between the two women. Sara was beginning to feel more and more like a third wheel as the looks between Catherine and Paul intensified.

'Okay, I suppose. I just feel lucky to be alive. It's going to be a while before I get out of here, but it's all down to Sara that I am still here.' Sara looked up and locked eyes with Catherine's as she gave a sheepish smile before turning her attention back to her hands. A frown came across Catherine's face as she turned back to Paul.

'That's good. I was wondering if maybe when you're out of here you would let me take you out for dinner.' Sara wanted to cover her ears so she wouldn't hear the answer, but she knew she couldn't without drawing attention to herself.

'Yeah that would be nice.' After hearing her answer, Sara couldn't take anymore. She grabbed her crutches and stood up gingerly. Catherine craned her head around Paul and gave her that clearly conveyed her confusion at Sara's hasty retreat.

'Um…..I'm going to go…..back to my room. Give you two a bit of privacy,' Sara explained as she hobbled towards the door unsteadily on her crutches. Nick saw her coming and opened the door for her to escape out of.

'Sara, wait…….I meant what I said.' Sara stopped as she heard Catherine; she turned round in the doorway.

'I know, Cat," she paused as she thought about what to say next. "I'll, uh, see you around.' Sara hobbled down the hall quickly with Nick in hot pursuit.

Catherine stared at the door that after Sara ambled out of it wondering what the hell had just happened. Unable to come up with an answer, she decided she'd find out later and turned her attention back to Paul.

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'So are you going to tell me what happened?' Nick asked as he helped Sara back on to her bed. Sara knew exactly what had happened. She was jealous--jealous of Paul being the one to ask Cath on a date, jealous of Paul that she said yes. She couldn't say she was surprised. She knew Catherine was straight, so she didn't know what she was thinking even contemplating asking her out.

'Well, Paul asked Catherine out on a date when she got out and she said yes,' Sara answered as Nick pulled up a chair by her bed. Nick was the only one she trusted enough after ten months to talk to about something like this. Sara told him a couple of months ago about her feelings towards Catherine and he had been so much support.

'Oh Sar, I'm so sorry,' Nick took Sara's hand in hers. 'One day she will realize what has been right in front of her is the best thing for her.'

'No, Nick. I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for her. I'm tired of wanting her to see the real me. I'm just tired of everything. I give up. I had my one chance and it blew up, so I give up. That's it for me.'

'Sara you have just proved over the last 24 hours that you are one of the most stubborn women I know. What happened to that woman? I want to see your stubborn streak. Don't give up on her, she might go on her date with Paul and hate it and then come to you.'

'I don't want to be second choice-,' as Sara stopped talking, Catherine came through the door in a wheelchair which was being pushed by the nurse that had treated her. She pushed her to the other side of Sara's bed and left her there as she walked out.

'I'll give you two a minute,' Nick declared as he gave Sara a small smile and left the room. Sara looked at Catherine with furrowed eyebrows.

'Um…what are you doing here?' Sara asked with a hint of apprehension in her voice. 'You shouldn't be up and moving around yet.'

'Well, we were interrupted earlier and you left before we could finish talking. I wanted to see how you were,' Sara looked up to see a sincere look in Catherine's eyes. Sara looked to the left of Catherine to see that she had a drip connected to her arm.

'The doctor said I should be able to leave tomorrow, but I won't be back at work for a month. Other than that, I'm okay.' Catherine reached out and took Sara's hand in hers.

'Well maybe when I get out we could meet up for lunch or something since we'll both have time off.--just the two of us.' Sara was a little scared about this; she had never been out with Catherine just the two of them before. She looked down at their joined hands and then back up into the blonde CSI's eyes.

'Yeah, I'd like that. How are you feeling?'

'Good, after you left I was in a bit of pain but they've given me more painkillers so all I see now are stars and stripes.' They both let out a chuckle, each liking the relaxed atmosphere.

'Well, maybe I should have what they're giving you.' She loved hearing Catherine laugh and believed it to be the most contagious thing in the world.

'Will you come and see me when you're out?' Catherine sounded like a little girl asking this and Sara couldn't help but say yes.

'Of course I will. I'll be in every day if they let me.'

'Good, well I'm going to go back to my room and get some sleep. Lindsay's coming back after school so I'd like to be awake for her.' Catherine was so pleased that things were improving between her and Sara, but she still wanted Sara to feel a bit more comfortable with her. Sara had confused her when she had walked out of the room after Paul had asked her out and she was still trying to figure out why the young brunette had fled the scene, but for now she would just put it down as the brunette's normal behaviour.

'Ok, I'll stop by your room tomorrow, if that's okay?' The brunette CSI asked.

'Of course it is. I'll see you tomorrow.' Catherine reached for Sara's call button and waited for the nurse to come. She gave Sara a small smile as she was wheeled out. Sara lay down and leaned on her side, wincing at the pain. She let tears fall freely as she cried over the wonderful woman she could never have before she let sleep overcome her.

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**You know if you review it encourages me to update sooner, please??**


	9. Weird Behaviour

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters if I did this would be happening on TV and I wouldn't have let Sara go, it would also be alot of fun!

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it means a lot.**

**A big thank you goes to Scuby!**

**On we go…..**

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It had been two weeks since Sara had been released from the hospital, and two weeks since Paul had asked Catherine on a date and she had said yes. Sara stood outside Catherine's hospital room on her crutches watching Catherine talk animatedly with Paul. She had been to the hospital a few times since she left, but had never gone in to speak to Catherine because every time she got there, Paul was already there, and she walked away.

Sara knew that she could never have Catherine so she pushed her away instead. She had said she would be in every day but she couldn't face it. She couldn't face the object of her affection happy with someone else. Yeah, she knew it was a selfish thing to do but the numb pain in her chest and Catherine's sparkling eyes when she saw them together made her stay away.

Sara had lost count of the number of messages that Catherine had left on her phone. Obviously Nick had given Catherine her home number, as when she couldn't reach her cell she rang the house phone. Every message more or less the same thing; _'Sara, where are you? I'd like to see you,' _and each time Sara had gulped back the tears.

Of course, now Catherine would know that something was wrong with her, as she hadn't called her back. Sara didn't know though whether she could do the whole friendship, but that was probably better than nothing at all. But seeing her laughing with Paul made her ache. She wanted to be the one that put that smile on Catherine's face. What reason did he have to be there all the time? He didn't even know her that well. And didn't he have a job?

Sara watched the pair of them that afternoon for a couple of more minutes and then hobbled away on her crutches. She was pausing in the hallway to rest her arms when she came face to face with the green-eyed CSI.

'Hey. How you doing girl?' Warrick asked as he brought Sara in for a bear hug, careful not to hurt her. Sara pulled back from his grasp after a minute.

'I'm doing ok; I should be back at work next week. Though I'll have to stay in the lab; doctor's orders.' Sara explained as Warrick gestured towards a seat in the corridor and they both sat down.

'Well, that's good news. I bet you can't wait to get back to work.'

Even though Sara had been brought in to investigate Warrick, they had built up a pretty solid friendship and Sara was grateful for that. To know that she was accepted into the group was a big thing for her.

'No, it's definitely been weird being off work,' Sara managed to let out a little chuckle.

'Paul and Catherine are getting on well aren't they?' Warrick inquired.

'Yeah, they seem to be. Anyway I'll see you soon Warrick. I have to go and get a cab.' Sara stood up and interrupted their conversation not wanting to talk about Catherine or Paul.

Warrick pulled her into another hug. Knowing that Nick and Sara were pretty close, Warrick said, 'Are you okay Sara? Shall I tell Nick to give you a call?'

'No, it's okay, don't worry. Bye Warrick.'

Warrick watched Sara hobble down the corridor with her head down low. He knew there was something not quite right there, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

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After watching Sara walk away, Warrick quickly pulled out his cell while no nurses were around and left a message on Nick's cell telling him to give Sara a call. After putting his cell in his pocket he walked down the corridor and knocked on Catherine's door, waiting for a 'come in' as he had spotted Paul through the window sitting on the side of her bed.

'Hey,' Warrick greeted quietly as he went over and gave Catherine a kiss on the cheek, and shook Paul's hand.

'Hey Warrick,' Catherine gave Paul a look telling him to leave them alone for a few minutes. Paul understood and left the room.

'How are you feeling?' Warrick asked as he perched on the side of Catherine's bed.

'A lot better! They're letting me out the day after tomorrow. I can't wait; I am getting sick of just lying here and eating the crap that the hospital calls food. Though it will probably be another month before I'm back at work and even then I'll still be in my cast.' Warrick glanced down at her cast to see all the names that had signed it. The biggest name was Lindsay and then the rest of the nightshift and Paul had dotted their names. There was one name missing though and that was Sara. He looked to meet Catherine's gaze.

'Yeah, Sara said she should be back at work next week as she can get round on her crutches a lot better now and she's looking a lot better; got some of her color back.' Warrick watched Catherine's face as it went from smiling to a frown.

'I wouldn't know, I haven't seen her.' Catherine let out a huge sigh as the last time she had seen Sara was the day that she had left the hospital and even then it was only for a few minutes.

'Uh, that's weird, I thought she was just in here, I bumped into her in the hall.'

Catherine started to worry, why hadn't Sara been to see her? Maybe she thought that they couldn't be friends. Catherine really hoped that wasn't the case as she wanted nothing more then the brunette's friendship after what they had been though together.

'No she hasn't been in.' Catherine furrowed her brow and looked down at her hands, trying to hold back the tears that were forming behind her eyes.

'Maybe she saw that you had company and didn't want to interrupt. You know how Sara is with people.'

'Yeah maybe,' Catherine muttered, 'I haven't seen her since she got out of the hospital and she's been ignoring my phone calls.'

'Well there must be a good reason for that. She wouldn't just ignore your phone calls. Maybe you could pay her a visit when you get out that way she won't be able to not see you.'

'Yeah that sounds like a plan.' Catherine was now even more confused than ever. It had confused her when Sara had walked out a couple of weeks ago, but this was just weird. Maybe Sara didn't want to interrupt her and Paul or she just felt uncomfortable coming in. Whatever it was, Catherine promised herself that she would find out once she got out of the hell hole.

'So is Lindsay coming here after school? Has Paul met her yet?' Warrick asked moving the conversation in a different direction. Catherine looked up at him.

'Yeah, my Mum is bringing her here and no they haven't met yet. It's still new, we haven't even been out on a date yet, so I'm going to wait a while.'

'That's cool. Well, I better go, shift starts in three hours and I have to run a few errands.' Warrick leaned down and placed a kiss on Catherine's cheek. 'I'll see you soon.' Warrick walked out as Paul went back in to the room with Catherine.

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Sara struggled through her front door after getting a cab from the hospital. She knew she was lucky that the elevator was working. As she stepped inside her apartment she went over to the phone as saw that she had one new message.

'_Hey Sara, it's Nick. Just checking to see that you're okay. Haven't heard from you for a couple of days. Warrick left a message saying you were down the hospital, so did you finally go in and see her? Anyway give me a call. Bye.' _Click.

Sara walked over and slumped down on the couch, knowing that she should give Nick a call. Looking around her apartment she saw all the take out menus on the fridge and sighed. This was how she was going to be the rest of her life, the blonde CSI wanted no more than to be friends and Sara knew she was going to be alone, just like she was now, _lonely._

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**Please review, I like to know what you think (pouts lip and flutters eyelashes) please?**


	10. Frustration

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters if I did this would be happening on TV and I wouldn't have let Sara go, it would also be alot of fun!

**Thank you for all the reviews and I'm sorry if I haven't been able to get back to all of you personally but I have been really busy. Sorry!**

**Thanks again Scuby!!**

**And away we go!!**

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Sara sat in one of the empty labs, trying to work her way through some old mundane paperwork. Paperwork was the one part of the job that she hated; she preferred being at crime scenes looking for any bit of evidence. Having the thrill of working out different, or sometimes similar puzzles, then the best part-- bringing the perpetrator to justice.

She had been back at work for a week and was pleased to be back, no more feeling sorry for herself in her apartment. She looked around the lab she was working in; it was quiet, out of the way--a bit like how she felt in the nightshift; a quiet outsider who somehow managed to worm her way in. It was very quiet, almost too quiet. She didn't know where any of the guys were, Grissom was probably in his office and well, Catherine obviously wasn't there.

Sara had heard from Warrick that Catherine had been released from the hospital just a week before and had been asking after her. Warrick also told her about the disappointment that he had heard in Catherine's voice when she told him that she hadn't been in. Sara felt guilty as Catherine was putting her all in to trying to form a friendship and she was pulling back, but she didn't want to get hurt. She didn't want her heart to break into tiny pieces if Catherine started to talk about Paul, so she just kept her distance.

Though that had probably not been the best idea as Sara didn't know how she was going to interact with the blonde when she eventually came back to work. Yeah, it would be a while until Catherine was back in the field, but eventually they would have to communicate somehow, and Sara wasn't looking forward to it, especially after hearing about the pain on Catherine's face talking to her. There was also the fact that Catherine liked to communicate with people where as she was the complete opposite almost, not quite as bad as Grissom.

Looking up again to stop her eyes from going funny from all the paperwork, she was surprised to see Grissom standing in the doorway, arms across his chest holding what looked like more paperwork, as if she didn't have enough already.

'Hey Grissom,' she gave him a small smile as he walked in and stood at the end of the table.

'How's everything going?' He asked as Sara looked from one pile of paperwork to the other one; the incomplete pile much larger than the complete pile.

'Um..ok I guess. A bit tired of all this paperwork. I just want to get out in the field again.' She dropped her pen down and rested her head on her palm.

'Give it another week, and we'll see.' Grissom knew how much Sara hated paperwork though before the accident it was a regular occurrence as she was constantly maxing out on overtime every month since she had arrived in Vegas. 'Though I do have a job for you, I can't do it as I have to get to court.'

'Ok, what is it?' Sara was trying not to get to excited seeing as she knew it had something to with what looked like more paperwork.

'Could you drop this paperwork off at Catherine's? She's getting restless so she's asked for some paperwork that she can go through.'

'Um….' Sara was unsure how to answer; she didn't know whether she was ready to see Catherine yet. 'What about Nick…..or Warrick?'

Grissom looked at Sara with a quizzical look on his face. 'They're both in court. Thanks, Sara.'

Before she could say anything else he had plopped the paperwork down in front of her and walked out the door. She just hated when he did that, just assumed she would do it. So she was going to have to see Catherine sooner than she intended too.

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Sara stood outside Catherine's door after struggling to get there as she had to ask someone in the lab for directions and her ankle was still giving her problems. She had been there for about ten minutes, pacing up and down in front of the door. She was nervous; there was no doubt about it. She had gone to knock five times but each time had walked away and then came back again. She was trying to fight the butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

After five more minutes of turning back and forth she eventually rang the doorbell. Looking down at her watch, she knew that Lindsay would be at school so they would probably be alone. Though she had heard Catherine's Mom was staying with them to help Catherine out.

She gazed back up again to see Catherine standing in the doorway with crutches holding her up. She looked more beautiful than ever to Sara, the slightest bit of make-up, loose pants and a black tank top. She also had a confused look on her face, but before Catherine could say anything she jumped right in.

'I just came round to bring you some paperwork that you asked for,' Sara passed it over and Catherine took it from her.

Catherine on her part was still confused about the brunette's behaviour, usually she was good at reading people, but Sara Sidle was the one person she was unable to read.

'Thanks. Do you want to come in? My mom's popped out for a few groceries.'

Sara was taken aback by the woman's invitation and was a tad apprehensive, but the look on Catherine's face won her over and she followed Catherine back inside.

'Have a seat,' Catherine offered.

Catherine motioned towards the sofa and Sara sat down on one end of the sofa while Catherine sat on the other end. Sara took a minute to look around; it was just like Catherine, classy but also had a homey feel about it. A couple of minutes lapsed as they both wished the other one would say something. Frustration mounting, Catherine spoke first.

'I want to say thank you again for saving my life.'

'There's no need.' Sara didn't know what else to say; she wasn't the best person to have a conversation with which Catherine was beginning to learn.

'How have you been?'

'Ok.' Conversation skills were definitely not Sara's forte.

'So…..I heard that you came to visit me at the hospital but never came in, why is that?'

Sara looked over at Catherine who had a concerned look etched on her face. 'I don't know, I guess I didn't want to intrude.' She answered giving a shrug of her shoulders.

Catherine let out a sigh in frustration. 'You wouldn't have been intruding Sara, I wanted to see you,' Catherine reassured.

'I've been busy too, work and stuff.' Sara suddenly had a big interest in her hands which were resting in her lap.

'Sara what's going on?' Catherine was worried and frustrated at the same time. It was obvious Sara wasn't going to break down her walls and let Catherine in.

'Nothing.' From the corner of her eye, Sara saw Catherine run a hand through her hair, obviously getting frustrated.

'It's not _nothing,_ Sara. Talk to me.'

'It has nothing to do with you, Catherine.' Sara growled through her teeth as she fought the urge to explain everything. All Sara wanted to do was shut Catherine up by kissing her, but the repercussions if she did would probably be huge.

'It has everything to do with me. You have been avoiding me for the past month, ever since the accident. I've only seen you once. I want to know why that is. I want to know why I had to hear through Warrick that you had actually been to the hospital. I want to know why you came to the hospital, but still never came to my room. Damn it Sara, I just want to know, because your behaviour is confusing the hell out of me. Is it something to do with Paul? Do you not like him?'

Hearing Paul's name coming from Catherine's lips made Sara cringe but she hid it. 'I hardly know him, Catherine.'

'Well then for crying out loud, tell me why you have been completely ignoring me after the hell we went through together?' Catherine had now stood up with the help of her crutches and was staring down at the brunette, this was just getting ridiculous.

Suddenly, Sara stood up which startled Catherine and she took a step back.

'You want to know why, huh?' Anger had now risen in Sara, and she couldn't hold back. She walked forward, put her hand behind Catherine's neck and claimed Catherine's lips with hers, sending sparks through her body. Catherine's body immediately reacted to the kiss and she found herself granting access to Sara's tongue as the pair of them duelled for domination. It was how every first kiss should be; passionate but gentle. As Catherine's head finally caught up with her body she pulled back abruptly, angry at herself for kissing Sara back; for betraying Paul. Sara could feel tears beginning to swell after Catherine had pulled back. She fought to wipe them away, not wanting to look weak.

'Sara, what the fuck just happened?' Catherine knew she shouldn't be angry with Sara, but she wasn't the type of person to cheat on someone even if it was just dating.

'I have fucking feelings for you, ok? More than crush feelings. My heart aches when I don't see you, and when I do see you all I want to do is kiss you. I was terrified of losing you in that basement and my head has been in complete turmoil over whether to come and see you or not. Obviously, I went for the latter. '

Catherine looked at Sara shocked by Sara's confession. Going through all the possibilities for the brunette's behaviour, this had not been one of them. She had just thought that Sara couldn't face her because of the accident. Wow, was she way off.

'Sara I'm dating Paul. This shouldn't have happened.' Catherine really didn't want to hurt Sara's feelings. Still, despite this news she wanted the brunette's friendship. Even she admitted she was bisexual. Years as an exotic dancer, who wouldn't be? She did know that Sara was very attractive but relationships with co-workers never worked. 'Sara, I….-.'

'It's ok, you don't have to explain. I'm going to go. I need to get some sleep.' Before Catherine could say anything Sara had walked away and was out the front door. Catherine followed behind her and struggled but managed to get in the doorway, knowing she had to try and make things as comfortable between them as possible.

'Sara, wait.' Sara was near her car now and turned around when she heard the blonde's voice. Her tears were falling now she'd realised what a big mistake she might have made.

Catherine herself was confused by what had risen between them. 'I don't know what to do about this.'

Sara just shook her head, 'By the time you figure it out, you really could be too late.'

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**You know what my favourite thing in the whole wide world is…..reviews!**


	11. Wandering Mind

**Disclaimer: **I own CSI……oh who am I kidding? If I did I would be rich and I would have already brought Sara back!

**I have to say a special thank you to Bonegee who always leaves really long reviews! Thanks!**

**Thanks to everyone else who reviewed, they always bright up my day!**

**A special mention has to go to scubysnak who listens to me throw ideas around and helps me out, and who is a great person to talk to and has become a great friend. Thanks babe**

**Ok…thank yous are over so away we go….**

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Catherine stood in her doorway as she watched Sara pull out of her driveway and down the road. She bought her finger up to her lip and traced it where Sara had kissed her. She couldn't believe it, Sara Sidle had kissed her. Sara Sidle. She had no idea that Sara was, well what was she? Was she gay or bisexual? But then again, she hadn't seen Sara with a guy yet. Yes, she had done the odd flirting with Nick for the first few months but that never went anywhere.

She slowly closed the door, and hobbled back over to her couch, sitting down and resting her head on the back of it. She brought her hand up to rub her temple. How was she going to deal with this? Sara was bound to feel uncomfortable around her now, and she didn't want that. She wanted a friendship with the brunette, but Sara obviously wanted more than that. Sara had admitted that she had feelings for Catherine, and she didn't reciprocate. That would make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Catherine was brought out of her musings by a knock on the door. Not having the energy to stand up and open the door, she shouted 'come in.' She looked to see Paul coming through the door and she gave a small smile.

'Hey,' he whispered as he leant down and placed a chaste kiss on Catherine's lips and sat down by her.

'Hey yourself,' Catherine whispered back.

That was another thing; things had been going great between her and the engineer, really well in fact. They had been on a couple of dates since she had been out of the hospital and Catherine really liked him. But somehow, she felt like she had betrayed him; she had kissed Sara back and had admittedly enjoyed it. She hadn't felt like that in a while. Paul's kisses were nothing like the kiss with Sara. It was really confusing her.

'-this morning?' Catherine just caught the end of Paul's sentence as her mind had been filled with thoughts about Sara.

'Huh, what was that?' Catherine asked as Paul raised an eyebrow with a concerned look on his face.

'Are you ok?' Paul asked as he reached over and intertwined his fingers with Catherine's. Catherine looked across at him for the first time since he had walked through the door.

'Yeah, I'm fine. What was the question?' Catherine lied as she tried to put all thoughts of Sara out of her head, but found it difficult. How would Sara be acting now? Embarrassed? Consciously, Catherine brushed her bottom lip with her tongue this time. She could still taste Sara on her lips; a unique taste that was all Sara.

'I said what have you been doing this morning?' Paul repeated from earlier.

'Just some housework, a colleague dropped by with some paperwork so I'll try and get some of that done while I'm off.' Was that all Sara was to her? Of course she wasn't, Sara had saved her life. Colleague or friend was not enough in Catherine's eyes. But then what was she? Catherine couldn't label her relationship with Sara, it was unique.

'So what do you want to do now?' Paul asked as he inched closer to Catherine raising one of his eyebrows. Their thighs now joined together, with their hands still intertwined. Paul leaned forward and brought Catherine into a kiss. It didn't take long before Paul's tongue seeked entry which Catherine was reluctant to give. But Catherine wrapped her arm round Paul's neck so they could kiss deeper.

But during the kiss, Catherine's mind still went back to the kiss with Sara. This kiss was nothing like the one with Sara. Paul had rough lips and tasted of cigarettes; Sara had soft, gentle lips which had a unique taste. Paul's kiss was hard and demanding; Sara's was passionate but gentle. She tried to put Sara at the back of her mind by kissing Paul deeper.

Eventually, she could feel a hand go up her thigh and rest near her hip as he leaned over and pressed Catherine down so she was lying down with him on top. The hand that was resting on her thigh had now gone under her tank top and was caressing her stomach, but it wasn't gentle caressing, it was rough. His fingers were rough, not soft like Sara's.

Why did she keep comparing Paul to Sara? The kiss with Sara was a mistake, wasn't it? But then why was she longing for Sara's touch again when she had Paul's right now?

Momentarily she had forgotten where she was when she suddenly felt Paul trying to lift her top over her head. Catherine couldn't do this now; she couldn't do this to Paul, not when she was not fully there with him. She jerked when she felt a hand reach under her top and caress her breast under her bra. Forcefully, she pushed Paul away, managing to sit up a bit and then she pushed him back further, so he was off of her.

When she tried to fully sit up, Paul pushed her back down and started kissing her again, his hands roaming her body. She turned her head to the side.

'Paul, stop it please. I don't want to do this right now.' She prayed that he would stop and get off her and he did, and she let out a sigh of relief.

'What the hell?' Paul exclaimed as he looked at Catherine demanding an answer to her actions.

'Paul, I'm sorry but I'm just not ready,' she didn't want to go into detail so she stopped talking and sat up next to him staring down at her hands.

'You have been leading me on for fucking weeks,' he was now standing, looking right down at Catherine. He was fuming. 'You have been leading me on and now you stop when were just getting started. You're a fucking tease. It's been a month. I have been patient, but all this time you've been leading me on.'

'Paul, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just not ready. Can you go please?' Catherine asked as she looked up at him.

'It will be my pleasure, you fucking whore.' Catherine was shocked and she watched him walk out the door, the door nearly coming off its hinges as he slammed it shut. Catherine was pissed off; she shouldn't be spoken to like that. Even being pissed off; a lone tear still managed to fall down her cheek. Everything was fucked up and it was her fault. She had messed up a friendship and now a relationship. Grabbing the nearest thing to her which was an ornament her mother had given her, she stood up gingerly and threw it at the front door with as much brute force as her anger would allow and watched it smash into little pieces.

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Sara sat in her car outside her apartment, as she was still in shock. She had kissed Catherine Willows, the object of her affection, and she had kissed back. Well maybe for a little while and then pulled back, but still Catherine Willows had kissed her back. Maybe there was hope yet.

But on the other hand she could have totally ruined any friendship they might have had and Sara wanted the friendship if she couldn't have anything else with the woman. Sara smacked her hand against her forehead and let out a loud groan. Catherine was happy with Paul and that's what she had to keep telling herself, not that there was hope after the kiss.

The kiss –Sara subconsciously brought her finger up to her lips. She had never had a kiss like it, it was passionate but gentle. It's what every first kiss should be. She could still feel the older woman on her lips. But she was regretting it more and more as the minutes went past.

After what seemed like ages, Sara stepped out her car and walked gently to the elevator and up to her apartment. Stepping in the door, she felt fear run through her body at seeing the blonde CSI when she was back at work. Yeah, like that wasn't going to be awkward.

In the corner of her eye she noticed red flashing from her answering machine. She walked over and pressed play.

'_Hey Sara, its Nick. Just letting you know, I'll be by later since we haven't had a chance to talk properly for a while. Just wondering how you are. I know I see you at work, but it's not the same. I'll let you get some sleep first. Bye.'_

Sara let out a groan because she didn't feel like company; the message was from a couple of hours ago so he would probably be by shortly. As she was walking towards a nice comfortable bed, a knock at the door stopped her. She gingerly walked over and peered through the peep hole and opened the door, completely surprised by who she saw standing in front of her.

'Hey, may I come in?'

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**The more reviews I get the faster I update usually ****:)**


	12. Jumping To Conclusions

**Disclaimer: **I own CSI……oh who am I kidding? If I did I would be rich and I would have already brought Sara back!

**Special thanks one again goes to you lot for reviewing….you have no idea how much they brighten up my day.**

**Once again a big thank you to Scuby….I couldn't do it without you….**

**Ok, on with the chapter….I have a feeling some of you are not going to like me when you read the first bit…..**

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'What are you doing here?' Sara asked as she leaned to the side and let Paul in. She watched him walk in, and then shut the door behind him. There was no reason why Paul should be there and how the hell did he get her address? Thoughts were racing through her mind; had something happened to Catherine….or Lindsay? Or had he found out about the kiss that she and Catherine had shared just an hour before. Ok, now she was scared she might have let an angry man into her apartment.

Sara shoved her hands into the front of her trousers watching Paul intently as he paced back and forth, just waiting for him to acknowledge her or do something.

'You and Catherine are close, right?' Paul's voice finally shattered her thoughts as she took a minute to digest the question. They weren't close, but with the kiss they were definitely close in more ways than one.

'I wouldn't say close…..' Sara paused thinking what to say next, but Paul cut her off before she could say anything further.

'What? How can you not be close when you saved her life? I mean you're a hero in Catherine's eyes; she never stops talking about you.' Paul had now stopped to stare at her.

Sara tried to stop the smirk that was about to form on her face at the thought of Catherine always talking about her. Suddenly, Sara felt anger boiling through her.

'Hang on a minute, you can't just come in my apartment and start questioning me. How the hell did you find my apartment?'

'I work for the city. How do you think?' Paul answered with a sneer on his face which Sara just wanted to wipe off. It wasn't enough that he was with the object of her affection, but he had come to her apartment to gloat; Sara was having none of that. After all, she still had her pride.

'Look asshole,' Sara sneered as she pointed a finger at him, 'you had no right finding my address out. What the hell are you doing here anyway? I have better things to do than stand around here chatting.'

'I think…..I think Catherine is hiding something from me, and as I thought you two were close, I was hoping you might have an idea about what it is. I've just come from her place as she was very off with me, and she's pushing me further and further away as each day goes by.'

Sara raised an eyebrow as she took a minute to respond. Paul's pacing had started up again.

'What makes you think that I would tell you anything anyway? Though I know nothing, I hardly know you, so why would I betray a colleague's trust by telling you something that she might have confided in me?' Sara didn't like using the term colleague for Catherine as she meant so much more to her than that. But she couldn't exactly introduce her as her fantasy.

'Because you want to see her happy.' This hit Sara like a ton of bricks, she did want to see Catherine happy, but if someone other than her gave it to her then it cost Sara her own happiness as well. Sara fed a hand through her hair as she let out a frustrated sigh.

'Look, I have already told you that I don't know anything. I'm tired, can you leave now please?' Sara walked over to her front door and opened it to see Nick standing on the outside just about to knock. Paul cocked an eyebrow as he took in Nick and then strolled towards the front door.

'Have fun with the boyfriend,' was Paul's last remark as he walked out the door brushing past Nick as he left. Sara looked at Nick who had a shocked look on his face. But Sara didn't know if it was because Paul had been there or he had assumed Nick was her boyfriend.

'Are you going to come in or are you just going to stand in the hallway while we talk?' Sara chuckled as Nick finally took notice and walked in, making his way straight into the kitchen. Before Sara could join him, the phone rang. Sara gingerly walked to it.

'Hello.' There was no answer on the other end of the phone, just silence.

'Hello is there anyone there?' Still no answer, and eventually a dial tone rung through. Sara would have tried to trace the call back but she had no Caller ID on her house phone, just on her cell.

'Well that was weird,' Sara muttered to herself as she joined Nick in the kitchen. She let out a laugh as she noticed Nick had already got the Ben and Jerry's ice-cream out.

'What was weird?' Nick enquired as he took another spoonful of cookie dough ice-cream.

'Someone phoned, but they didn't say anything and then they hung up.' Sara answered as she grabbed a spoon and took the tub out of Nick's hands taking it into the lounge.

'Maybe it was just a wrong number.' Nick mumbled with his mouth full as he followed Sara to take a seat on the couch.

'Yeah….maybe.' First Paul coming to her apartment unannounced and then a phone call where nobody said anything on the other end; it was really confusing her. It had been a weird day to say the least and it was only 11 o'clock in the morning. Already she had kissed the blonde CSI and her boyfriend had showed up saying she was hiding something. Sara didn't want to let herself think that Catherine was pulling away because of the kiss they shared. That would only end up in heartache, most likely for Sara, and she had been given enough heartache to last her an entire lifetime.

'So what's been going on with you? I've hardly seen you at work, and you're pretty distant at the moment.'

'Nothing's been going on.' Sara replied, not wanting to talk to the Texan about what had happened earlier that morning.

'Don't give me that bullshit, Sara. I know you well enough by now to know when something is up with you. What was Paul doing here?' Sara stopped eating the ice-cream and looked up at Nick who was waiting for an explanation.

'He just came by to ask what Catherine liked jewellery wise,' Sara lied not wanting to tell Nick the real reason. She didn't want to tell him that she had made a huge mistake and kissed Catherine even though she had kissed her back to start with. Some things were best kept between herself and Catherine.

'Sara……,' Nick started in the voice that knew she wasn't telling the truth. Sara knew he didn't buy what she had told him.

'Can we just drop it Nick?' Nick put his hands up in surrender letting Sara know that the subject was for now indeed dropped. But there was no doubt in Sara's mind that he would bring it up again, probably sooner rather than later. 'Do you mind if we do this another time? It's just I haven't been home long and I need some sleep before shift tonight.'

'Sure.' They both got up from the couch and Sara popped the ice cream back in the fridge before seeing Nick out. Fifteen minutes later she was in bed and she was willing herself to fall asleep. Only one person was going to be filling her dreams, and that's all they were ever going to be-- dreams.

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Catherine was still sitting on her couch with her head in her hands when she heard her front door open. She then heard the pieces of the ornament that she had smashed being walked across. She looked up from her hands to see her Mom standing directly in front of her. She couldn't hide her puffy eyes, especially from her mom who was staying with her till she was able to take Lindsay to school and pick her up. Hopefully, she thought, sooner rather than later. Catherine was exhausted and she had only been awake a few hours.

'Catherine why is the ornament I bought you smashed into little pieces on the floor?' Lily asked as she looked down at her daughter waiting for an explanation.

'Because I got angry and that was the nearest thing to me,' Catherine let out a sigh as she brought her head down to her hands.

'Catherine, what's going on with you?' Lily had now taken a seat next to Catherine and was rubbing her daughter's shoulder. 'Are you still having nightmares about the accident? Is that what it is?' The first few weeks Catherine had found herself reliving it every time she closed her eyes; all she kept thinking was how lucky she had been to have Sara with her. Who knows what might have happened otherwise.

'No, Mom, it's not that.' Catherine looked to the side at her Mom who was frowning, Catherine was getting frustrated and she didn't want company right then.

'Well, then, what is it?' Lily asked determined to get an answer as to what was troubling her daughter.

'Look, Mom, it's nothing, and I'm not trying to be horrible, but it's none of your business anyway.'

'It is my business when I get back to find a shattered ornament and you with puffy eyes. Now what is it?' Lily was not going to let this go.

Catherine stood up as abruptly as she could and grabbed her crutches to lean on.

'FOR FUCKS SAKE, MOM, IT'S NOTHING.' Catherine shouting startled Lily, 'just leave it.' Catherine said in a quieter voice as she left her mom sitting on the couch as she made her way to her bedroom. Later on she would probably feel guilty about talking to her Mom like that but she couldn't deal with it now. She flopped down on the bed with all her clothes still on as she let exhaustion overcome her.

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**Please could you be ever so kind and take a minute out of your day to review and let me know what you think? Please??**


	13. Pushing Feelings Aside

**Disclaimer: **I own CSI……oh who am I kidding? If I did I would be rich and I would have already brought Sara back!

**Special thanks one again goes to you lot for reviewing….every single review encourages me to write more……**

**Once again a big thank you to Scuby….You are a legend….**

**On with the story…..**

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Later that night, Catherine was lying in her bed awake; listening as the front door closed knowing her Mom had finally left her house after shouting at her earlier in the day. She had already sent Lindsay to bed and many thoughts were running through her mind. She glanced across at her alarm clock to see it was only 9pm. If she wasn't injured, she would be at work by now with the rest of the team--laughing and joking before they got given their assignments for the night and heading off in different direction. As much as she loved being at home with her daughter, Catherine also loved her work.

A knock at the door brought Catherine out of her musings. Thinking it was her Mom returning; as fast as she could manage she walked to the front door and opened it without checking the peephole. Instead of her mother, there stood Paul. She tried to slam the door in his face, but he put his foot in the gap in the door and forced himself in. Taking a step back, she gave him one of her glares.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Catherine asked seething that he had just barged in. Paul closed the door behind him and stood in front of her with one hand in his pocket and the other hand holding a bunch of orchids.

'I game to apologise. I was an asshole earlier. I'm sorry.' Paul apologised, handing the flowers to Catherine which she took. 'I'm sorry for pressuring you into doing something you didn't want to do. Think you can forgive me?'

'I'll think about it. Take a seat and I'll put these in some water. We need to talk,' Catherine motioned towards the couch before she hobbled into the kitchen to find a vase. She took a minute to lean on the counter. After Eddie she didn't want another guy that was violent towards her, but Paul was sincere wasn't he? Her mind though still kept going back to Sara; betting that the brunette had never hurt as much as a fly let alone another human being. Pushing herself off the counter, she walked back to the couch and sat at the opposite end to where Paul was sat.

'Why did you do it?' Catherine asked knowing Paul knew what it was she meant.

'Honestly? Because I thought we both wanted it and I thought we were both in this relationship, just tell me I'm wrong.' Paul didn't want to be told he was wrong, but he knew he had a reason to be worried seeing the chemistry between Catherine and Sara. No one could deny that there was chemistry there between them but he hoped Catherine wanted him and not the brunette. 'All I can say is I'm sorry Catherine, and I'm willing to wait as long as you want.' Paul reached over and interlinked their hands together thankful that Catherine didn't pull her hand back.

'Just don't pressure me, that's all I ask.'

'I won't, I promise.' Paul brought Catherine's hand up to his mouth and kissed the top of it. 'So are we ok?'

'We're ok,' Catherine nodded looking down at their joined hands as her mind thought back to when Sara held her hand and how it was a perfect fit. A few minutes of silence followed, though it wasn't a very comfortable silence like it should be.

'I saw your friend earlier with her boyfriend,' Paul explained as Catherine whipped her head up to look at him. 'You know-- the brunette?'

'Oh, Sara? She has a boyfriend?' To say Catherine was shocked at the announcement was an understatement. So what had their kiss been about? Was it just an experiment on Sara's part to see what it was like?

Paul could see the confusion flash across Catherine's face.

'Yeah they stopped to talk to me along the strip this afternoon. They were holding hands. I think his name was Nick, I know he came to visit you at the hospital once.' Paul explains with a smile on his face trying to convince her of what he claimed he saw.

'You sure?'

Paul was having great delight at telling Catherine this; maybe it could squash whatever chemistry there was between the two CSI's. Catherine, on the other hand, couldn't believe her ears? Sara had been unfaithful behind Nick's back. But then again, so had she, but Catherine couldn't hurt Nick like that.

'I'm positive. She introduced him as her boyfriend. They make a nice couple.' Paul's smile turned into a full blown smirk but hid it when Catherine looked at him.

Catherine just nodded, not really knowing what she was nodding to as she had drowned out everything after hearing about Sara and Nick. Well, they had been flirting and there was no denying that, but when had it turned into a relationship she wondered. Well, if they were happy she had a right to be happy, too.

Looking at Paul, Catherine knew what needed to be done. Before he could say anything else she had as quickly as she could straddled his lap and crashed her lips against his, running her hands through his hair as she made the kiss deeper. Pulling back she rested her forehead against his.

'Let's stop talking about them. Take me to the bedroom.' Catherine whispered against his lips as she put her arms round his neck and let her legs dangle as it was still a bit uncomfortable as he carried her to her bedroom.

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Three weeks later, Catherine was back at work and in the locker room near the end of shift. The doctor had finally said she could go back to work, but was only on desk duty. Sara, however, was now able to go back in the field which she couldn't be more thankful for. Catherine was already getting restless and she had only been back a few days. She didn't know how much paperwork the night shift could accumulate; the fact that most of it was Grissom's though that wasn't a surprise to her.

Catherine looked around the locker room surprised at how much she had missed the place. The rest of the team were in there, too; well, everyone apart from Grissom. Since Catherine had been back, Sara had managed to avoid her at all costs. She never wanted to be left alone in the same room as the blonde; it had happened once and Sara had quickly walked out.

Catherine chuckled as Warrick put Greg in a headlock and ruffled his hair. But her chuckling stopped when her eyes fell on Sara's back while she was looking for something in her locker. Catherine knew that things were better between the two of them before the accident and she wished they could go back to that instead of the whole ignoring thing that Sara had perfected when around her now. She had tried to communicate with the younger woman but to no avail.

'Hot date tonight, Nick?' Catherine asked as she watched Nick splash some cologne on after he had just put on a clean shirt. Catherine noticed Sara's head shoot up at the question and glance at Nick. Sara then locked eyes with Catherine and they held their gaze for a few seconds. The guys watched as they women looked at each other before Warrick decided to interrupt.

'Don't be ridiculous, Catherine. Nick could never get a date.' At hearing Warrick's voice she turned to look at him, but she could still feel Sara's eyes burning into her.

Before she could reply, Nick interrupted, 'Actually yeah you could say that.' A big smile was spread across his face as he answered. Well, things were obviously going well between them Catherine thought as she turned to look back at Sara who had her head in her locker again. Obviously Sara was embarrassed about everyone knowing. Warrick's voice interrupted her musings again.

'So anyone want to go for breakfast? Everyone but lover boy here obviously.' Nick grinned again.

'I can't. I have to pick up Lindsay from Nancy's.' Catherine answered. Sara brought her head out the locker.

'Sorry, Warrick. I have errands to run, rain check?' Sara asked as Warrick gave her a nod.

'How about you Greg, you in?' Warrick asked glancing at the youngest Lab Rat who was still trying to flatten down his hair where Warrick had ruffled it.

'Sure am. See you later guys.' Everyone returned their goodbyes which left Catherine, Sara and Nick in the locker room.

'Ok, well I better get going. See ya.' Nick said as he exited the locker room, Catherine noticed that Sara didn't even look up when he left. Eventually Sara slammed her locker shut and a silence descended over the two CSI's. Sara was shuffling her feet obviously trying to get away from the confined space with Catherine in it.

'He's a good guy,' Catherine said off-handed as Sara turned to look at her. Catherine then tilted her head towards the door letting Sara know who she meant.

'What? Oh…..Nick. Yeah he is.' Sara smiled at Catherine the same way that Nick had minutes earlier confirming what Paul had said. Again a silence fell over them, neither knowing what to say until the silence became unbearable to be in.

'Sara…..'

'Cath…..' they both start at once stopping when they heard the other start to speak. 'I'm sorry I've got plans, I have to go.' And without so much as a goodbye she walked out the locker room. Catherine ran her hand through her hair as she looked at the door that Sara had just walked out. Sighing she grabbed her stuff out of her locker and made her way out of the lab still fairly slowly.

Making her way over to her Tahoe in the mid morning sun she turned to see a car parked a few spaces down. She smiled as she saw Paul's car parked with him in it. Walking towards it, she pulled her cell out to call Nancy to ask of she could take Lindsay to school. Looked liked her plans had changed so like Nick and Sara, she now had a hot date.

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**Reviews keep the writers block away…..:D**


	14. Confusion

**Disclaimer:** I do own CSI…I do. Okay so only in my dreams.

**Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, I've been going through some pretty rough stuff that needed sorting out and still needs to be. Thank you for all your reviews though, they always make me smile.**

**A special thanks to Scuby who has been nothing but a godsend….you are an amazing friend. Thank you**

**Okay so on we go…..**

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A couple of days later Catherine was walking through the crime lab looking for Nick to give him some results. Seeing as she was still stuck there, she had offered to take the results to him giving her an opportunity to stretch her legs. She took in every person she went past; she was in a good mood. Her relationship with Paul was going well though he still hadn't met Lindsay and she wasn't sure when he would.

Yeah everything was going great. She had a wonderful boyfriend, a great job, a beautiful daughter and fabulous colleagues. What more could a woman want? As the question entered her mind, she instantly thought of the mysterious Sara Sidle. Neither of them had acknowledged the kiss that had occurred between them. Sara was obviously happy with Nick and she was happy with Paul.

Well, then what made her keep thinking of Sara? They hadn't spoken since the time in the locker room and Catherine was sure that Sara was avoiding her. Sara obviously felt uncomfortable; maybe she thought that Catherine would tell Nick about the kiss. Since Sara hadn't acknowledged that it had happened it obviously was a mistake to her, and Catherine was becoming increasingly confused with her feelings.

Sara had laid all her feelings on the line; surely someone wouldn't do that if they didn't feel that way, knowing it could jeopardize both their relationships. Catherine kept on walking until she reached her destination but stopped when she heard voices. She listened from outside, definitely three voices; Nick, Sara and Greg.

'Then I could feel her foot slowly going up my leg and I was trying very hard not to get a hard on as we were in the middle of a restaurant. Though I would have taken her there if I could,' Nick said. Catherine moved closer to the door listening intently.

'Nick, Greg doesn't need to know that.' Catherine let out a gasp, she never realised that Sara was like that. Usually she was such a shy loner. Wow how different could one person be outside of work?'

'Yes I do! Ow, what was that for?' Obviously that was Greg and Sara had hurt him in someway. She really should go in there to give Nick his results but she wanted to hear the rest of what happened. 'Then what?'

'I was a perfect gentleman and gave her a ride home,' Catherine could hear the smugness in his voice.

'Nick, can we stop talking about it please?' Sara asked, obviously not pleased with what was being talked about. So she wasn't the only one that knew about their relationship. A voice overhead started her from listening to the rest of the conversation.

'It's okay sweetie, I'll tell him when you're not here.' Catherine could hear Nick and Greg laughing.

'Catherine Willows, you have a visitor in reception. Catherine Willows you have a visitor in reception.' She cursed under her breath at not being allowed to hear the rest. Muttering under her breath she walked towards the reception, and saw Paul standing there with yellow hyacinths in his hand. God, did this man know nothing about the meaning of flowers? These were not flowers that you give to your girlfriend.

She placed a smile on her face as she walked up to him, took hold of one of his elbows and lead him to her office, giving Judy a smile as she made her way past. She didn't even bother closing her office door as she knew she didn't want him staying long.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Catherine asked, incensed that he had turned up at her place of work in the middle of the night.

'I just came to surprise you. I got you these.' Paul handed over the flowers and Catherine turned back placed them on her desk along with the results for Nick before looking back at Paul.

'You can't turn up to my place of work unannounced. How dare you!' Catherine was livid.

'I'm sorry; I thought you might like to see your boyfriend.' Paul frowned, not quite believing that Catherine didn't want to see him. He had turned up to surprise her for crying out loud.

'I know and I do, but this is my place of work. I need my colleagues to respect me and they won't if you turn up unannounced with flowers in your hand,' Catherine explained. Paul took a step forward and opened his arms as Catherine stepped into the embrace resting her chin on his shoulder.

Her eyes became wide and she looked over his shoulder to see Sara standing in her doorway. They locked eyes for a few seconds; Catherine could see hurt in Sara's eyes. Though she had no idea why, after all Sara was with Nick. Catherine pulled back from the embrace breaking eye contact with Sara.

Paul brought his hands up to her cheeks and caressed them before slowly leaning in to kiss her. Catherine could still feel Sara's presence at the door so she turned her cheek at the last minute. As Paul pulled back confused, Catherine noticed that Sara had gone.

'What the hell was that about?' Paul seethed as Catherine took one step back. She was a little confused at that moment.

'I told you, if someone walked back and saw me kissing you, well, it doesn't look very professional, does it?' Catherine retaliated trying to get Paul to go.

'I know for a fact that isn't the only reason.'

'Paul, can you just go, please?' Catherine turned her back to him, pretending to look at some results. She could hear his breathing for a couple of minutes before she heard him turn round and walk out. She chanced a look at the flowers, sighing and running one hand through her hair, she picked up the results and went in search of Nick; hoping to avoid Sara so she didn't have to see the hurt on the brunette's face again.

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Catherine managed to avoid Sara for the entire shift, and Nick as well for that matter as they were on the same case. She didn't know why she was so irritated about hearing them together. She should be happy for them, happy that Nick has finally found someone who might last; happy for Sara that she was settling down in Vegas after a turbulent start.

Catherine could lie and say she was truly happy for them, but she wasn't. After Sara had kissed her she hadn't known what to do and then it was like a slap in the face when Paul told her about Sara and Nick. Perhaps she was just jealous of their relationship? Maybe that's what she wanted from Paul.

She had to admit she was hurt by the fact that Sara barely even talked to her anymore after they had agreed to work on their friendship after the accident. But so much had happened between them that Catherine didn't know where to start. Things were awkward; actually make that very awkward and Catherine didn't like it.

Then there was the Paul problem. He had no idea what was going on; and Catherine knew she should let him in but she couldn't. She didn't want to show him her vulnerable side. Only one person had seen that side and then it was under a collapsed building with impending death looming.

Signing off on her last report, Catherine decided she should spend time with her daughter before school. She had barely seen her since things had started with Paul and Catherine was starting too feel guilty about it. Walking slowly out of the lab, she decided that was just what she needed-- a bit of quality time with her daughter, and nothing was going to stop her from enjoying it. Not Nick. Not Sara. And certainly not Paul.

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**So let me know what you think of the chapter, if you have a minute. :D**

**Look out for a story called Shy Girl that I'm co-writing with cathandsaraforever55….should be up soon. Thanks**


	15. Confrontation

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI, if I did Sara would be back permanently!

**Thank you to everyone for all the reviews, they've certainly helped cheer my up….**

**Nico:** It's about time you changed my light bulbs :D

**CathandSaraforever:** Thank you for being patient with my writing for Shy Girl :)

**Scuby:** Thank you for just being an awesome friend :D

**Now all the thank yous are over, on with the story….**

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A couple of weeks later, Catherine was finally able to go back out in the field and she couldn't wait. For one thing she wouldn't be stuck in the same place every single day but it also meant she could work with other members of the team again. Even though she had seen them while being confined to the lab, it wasn't the same as the banter you threw back and forth at a crime scene.

Catherine had to admit that she had missed working with Sara in particular, they always pushed each other to get the results and they worked well together. She didn't think Sara would be very receptive to working with her when they had barely spoken in the last couple of weeks. Just a quick 'hi' in the lab corridor had transpired between them. And she had said to herself she was going to change their relationship after the accident, well it had certainly changed and not for the better.

Catherine was sitting in the break room with Warrick and Nick waiting for their assignments and she had no idea where Sara was. Looking up from the magazine she was reading she chuckled as Nick and Warrick fought on the over some video game. Yeah, she had certainly missed it. Even though she had seen them around the lab it wasn't quite the same as waiting in the break room waiting for assignments.

When she heard the door open she immediately looked up as Sara walked in, much later than normal. Maybe she and Nick didn't want to be seen coming in together. Their eyes immediately found each other and Catherine was looking for any sign of emotion in the brown eyes. All she got was a small smile as Sara walked straight over to grab a coffee. Catherine noticed that she sat down as far away from her as she could. She also noticed that Nick didn't give any recognition that she was there; almost ignoring her.

A minute later, Grissom strolled in not saying anything before he ploughed into giving out assignments.

'Nick, Sara you have a 419 on the strip, Catherine and Warrick you also have a 419 but in Henderson. I will be here at the lab going over paperwork.' With that he disappeared and Catherine couldn't help but smile at how anti-social he actually was. She watched as Sara and Nick walked out the room talking, and she turned to Warrick who had a big grin on his face after beating Nick.

'I just have to grab my stuff from my locker. Meet at your Denali?' Catherine asked not wanting to drive, as even though her leg was getting stronger it still hurt if it was kept in the same position for any amount of time.

'Sure, I'll meet you outside.'

Catherine grabbed her kit that had been stowed away and headed outside to meet Warrick who was leaning against the Denali waiting for her. They both got in and headed for the crime scene.

'So, how are things going with Paul?' Warrick asked bringing up a new subject halfway through the trip to the crime scene.

'They're going good…I guess.' Catherine stated nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. And things were just that, things were still awkward between them but Paul had stopped showing up at her work, and if she was to be honest she was pleased with the fact that she didn't see him every day or every other day for that matter.

'You guess?' Warrick glanced over to look at Catherine who had her game face on.

'Things could be better but they are okay. Now I'm back in the field, it's going to get harder seeing him, but I'm okay with that. Lindsay's my number one priority.'

'Good on ya, girl.'

Catherine let out a little chuckle. It was good to be back. Maybe though she could bring up the thing about Sara, Warrick was her best friend; he wouldn't tell anyone. Or maybe not; she didn't want to break Sara's confidence, but she did want to know that she was okay seeing as they never spoke.

'So Sara seemed a little quiet in the break room, is she okay?' Catherine asked, turning to look out the window as she fidgeted with her hands. Warrick smirked as he took another glance at her and then turned serious.

'I dunno, she's been a bit withdrawn lately. Bit quieter than normal but other than that she's okay. She would tell you if she wasn't, I mean you're friends right?'

'Things have been a bit strained lately, but we're getting there... slowly.' Catherine looked down at her hands.

'Good because I think you could be great friends.'

'Hopefully.' Catherine whispered knowing that they couldn't be just friends, Sara had seen to that and she didn't know what to do about that fact.

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A few hours later after putting away all the evidence and handing things over to lab techs, Catherine was ready to go home. It had been a particularly bad case, a 12 year old girl who had been found dead in her bedroom by her sister and both parents were missing it seemed. But it was good to work with Warrick again, bouncing off each other. All they needed to do was find the parents and it would probably be case closed, but there was nothing more she could do now. It was up to Brass to find them.

As Catherine walked through the lab she could have sworn she could hear shouting coming from the break room. As she got closer to the break room the shouting got louder. She could make out the two voices clearly, Sara and Nick.

'Nick, don't be so ridiculous. You can't do that.' Catherine had never heard Sara raise her voice to anyone before, and it's not something she wanted to hear again.

'You do what you want, because I am done with the case and I am done with you.' Catherine stepped back as Nick stormed out the break room seething. She slowly stepped in the break room doorway and saw Sara was sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands. She slowly walked over and placed a hand on Sara's shoulder, but she pulled back when Sara flinched.

'Sara….'

Catherine didn't say anything else as Sara stood up and walked out the room. She quickly followed as Sara went to the locker room. Catherine grimaced when Sara thumped her locker. As she was about to do it again, Catherine grabbed her wrist.

'Sara, don't do that. How about we go for a drink?' Catherine took in the surprised look on Sara's voice, as she turned towards her.

'I don't think that's a good idea, do you? Shouldn't you be seeing Paul or something like that?' Sara sneered as she turned back and rummaged through her locker to get her things after Catherine let go of her wrist.

'Please Sara, let's go for a drink. I don't think you should be going home alone like this.' Sara let out a big sigh of frustration.

'Okay.'

Catherine was pleased but Sara still had the most vulnerable look on her face. She hadn't really thought this through. What were they going to say to each other?

'Let me just grab my stuff and then we'll go.' Sara nodded as Catherine walked over to her locker and grabbed her stuff, 'I'll drive,' she stated as she walked out of the locker room willing Sara to follow her which she did.

The drive to the bar was silent and Catherine kept looking over at her colleague who was focused on the road in front of her. She was beginning to get agitated with the silence but they had already reached their destination. Catherine had chosen a bar near her place so she could have a drink and then pick the car up later before the next shift. There were hardly any people in, but the ambiance was cozy. Soft music was playing over the speakers so people could still hear one another to talk.

Catherine chose a table near the corner of the bar so they could talk in private not wanting any intruders. There was a few things she needed to talk to Sara about; including the kiss they shared which sent shivers down her spine whenever she thought about it; but she hadn't thought about what that meant. After grabbing a bottle of beer, they sat opposite one another at the booth. Catherine noticed that Sara was doing her best to avoid eye contact with her and she couldn't blame her since they hadn't spoken about her feelings. She decided that it needed to be talked about though. So she decided to just jump in at the deep end.

'Sara about the kiss we had-'

'Catherine can we not talk about it please?' Sara was fidgeting in her seat pealing the label off of her beer and Catherine could tell she was uncomfortable talking about what had happened between them.

'No, Sara it needs to be talked about. I mean why did you date Nick if you had feelings for me?' Catherine looked on astonished as Sara started laughing.

'You thought I was dating Nick? You couldn't be further from the truth.'

'But I heard you talking…..'

Sara was wiping away the tears that were falling from laughing so much. It took a few minutes for Sara to regain her composure.

'Maybe you shouldn't listen in on conversations if you haven't heard the start. So you thought I told you I had feelings for you then started dating Nick? What kind of person do you think I am? I'm not like you Catherine. God damn it, I still have feelings for you. I wouldn't jump into a relationship while I was thinking about someone else.'

Catherine couldn't believe how open Sara was being and she was sure if she was in a cartoon her mouth would be hanging open. Before Catherine could say anything Sara was out of her seat and heading for the door. What was it with her and leaving after talking about her feelings?

'Sara, wait!' Catherine shouted as she followed Sara out of the bar. 'You haven't even finished your drink.' Sara had stopped by the car waiting for Catherine to open it.

'Take me back to the lab.' Sara demanded, but Catherine walked slowly towards her. She didn't know what had got into her but she had this sudden urge inside her. Sara stepped back till she was leaning against the car as their bodies stood inches apart. She searched Sara's brown eyes for anything, but there was nothing there. She placed her hand behind the brunette's neck and pulled her down; crashing their lips together.

Sara moaned into her mouth so she took it as an invitation to run her tongue along Sara's; both fighting for domination. Catherine felt her hips being pulled as their bodies moulded together so with her other hand she reached under Sara's top to caress her stomach.

Starting to become lightheaded she pulled away and looked into Sara's eyes and all she saw was lust. Standing up on tiptoes she nibbled Sara's earlobe before brushing it with her lips.

'Back to your place. Now.'

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**I need cheering up at the moment and reviews always make me smile….so did you like it, love it, hate it? Let me know….**


	16. Letting Go

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CSI, but one day Nico and I will! :-)

**Thank you for all your amazing reviews, you motivate me to keep writing.**

**Nico:** We make a great pair – a cripple with a sprained ankle and an old cripple with a busted arm! Hehe. Thank you for being there.

**cathandsaraforever:** Thanks for your support and your patience

**Scuby: **Thank you as always

**This chapter is rated M, hope you like :-)**

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The drive to Sara's place was silent but filled with electricity that was coming from both of them. Sara didn't want to ruin the moment by making idle chit chat. What they were about to do didn't need to be talked about, they both knew what was about to happen.

Stepping into her apartment she didn't have a chance to say anything before the door was kicked closed and she was being pushed against it. Catherine had her pinned to the door, hands either side of her hips. For a couple of seconds they were looking into each others eyes and all they could see was lust. Taking that as confirmation to carry on, Catherine leaned in and captured Sara's lips in a searing kiss.

Immediately Catherine ran her tongue along the bottom of Sara's lips. Sara's hands grabbed hold onto Catherine's belt loops on her trousers and pulled her in closer; their bodies moulding together. Sara found her kisses intoxicating and would live off them for the rest of her life if she could.

With one hand staying on Catherine's hips, Sara brought the other to the back of her neck so she could deepen the kiss. Sara granted access to her tongue as they both tried to dominate the kiss; their tongue's caressing each other's. Catherine's hands instinctively went to Sara's hips, her thumbs going under the v-neck top, rubbing the soft, smooth skin just above the waistline. She pulled back when air started to become an issue; though their lips stayed touching.

'Are you sure you wanted to do this?' Sara whispered, as Catherine's lips tingled from the kiss. Sara wanted to give her one last get out before they continued. She had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening. She could feel her own heart beating what felt like a thousand beats a minute. The arousal was pumping through her veins and she really didn't want Catherine to back out now. But she knew one time would never be enough, she would always want more where it cam to Catherine.

'Sara I wouldn't be here if I didn't. So stop talking and kiss me.' Catherine had never been so sure about anything, Sara seemed to stir these feelings in her that she never knew existed; feelings that she had never experienced. All her focus was on Sara and she would think about the consequences of their actions later.

Sara obliged and pulled Catherine into another kiss, slowly walking her back into the bedroom. She started to unbutton Catherine's shirt as they walked back, exposing soft creamy skin and a black lacy bra which she couldn't wait to get off. Sara stopped the kiss and took Catherine's bottom lip in-between her teeth as she nipped away at it.

Catherine's knees buckled under her as she hit the side of the bed, and sat down on it. Catherine missed the contact between them so she grabbed Sara's hips and pulled her so she was standing in between of her legs. Slowly she lifted up Sara's top taking in the sight, standing up to take it off then sitting back down again. She started to pepper Sara's stomach with kisses, addicted with the smooth texture under her lips.

Sara slowly peeled off Catherine's shirt off as she felt Catherine circle her tongue in her belly button. She ran her hands through the older CSI's golden locks. Catherine pulled back and pushed back further on the bed, leaning on her elbows as they both kicked off their shoes. Sara crawled over her body before covering it with her own, bringing Catherine into another passionate kiss. She grabbed hold of Catherine's wrists and moved them above her head as she started to kiss and nibble her way down Catherine's neck, getting a moan out of her as she sucked on her pulse point. Sara moved up and kissed along her jaw line, then onto the sensitive spot behind her ear which made Catherine's hips buck under her.

'Sara please, I want to touch you.'

'No, you can wait your turn.' Sara quietened her with a kiss as with one hand she caressed Catherine's side taking in the older woman's curves. Caressing the black lacy bra she smiled widely as she saw it had a front clasp. Unhooking it, she peeled the straps down her shoulders before flinging it to the floor.

She brought her hand to her left breast and took the nipple between her finger and thumb, knowing the fine line between pleasure and pain.

'God Sara.'

Sara started kissing her neck downwards, till she reached Catherine's right breast where she took it in her mouth. Catherine arched her body, amazed at the effect that Sara was having on her. Sara nipped and licked her breast as she caressed the other one. Catherine bit down on her lip, holing back the loud moan that was building in her throat.

'Sara, please. I want to feel you inside me.' Catherine had never known herself to beg for something before, but Sara was bringing it out of her.

'Patience,' Sara whispered as she came up and placed a chaste kiss on Catherine's lips.

Sara sat back and straddled Catherine's legs as she slowly undid the buttons on her jeans revealing a matching black lacy thong. Slowly she pulled the jeans down over her slender hips, Catherine lifting up so she could pull them off. Once off, Sara stood up and slid off her own trousers, Catherine taking in the sight of a matching red thong and bra.

Kneeling at Catherine's feet she started to kiss up the inside of her leg, Catherine's hands going in Sara's hair, pulling her to where she really wanted her, but Sara wanted to take this as slowly as possible. Grabbing onto Catherine's hips she took hold of her thong with her teeth and pulled it down her legs.

Sara removed her last remaining bits of clothing as she covered Catherine's body with her own again. Cupping her cheek with one hand she pulled Catherine into a kiss as she pressed her thigh against Catherine's clit. She smiled against her lips as she felt Catherine buck her hips up, trying to grind harder against her thigh. She could feel her arousal against her thigh so she brought her hand down in place of her thigh and pressed her thumb against her clit.

'Fuck Sara, please I'm begging you.' Sara took Catherine's earlobe in-between her teeth.

'What do you want Catherine?' She whispered as she pressed her clit harder with her thumb.

'Oh God. You, inside me.' Catherine managed to gasp out as Sara obliged and pushed two fingers inside her.

Sara kissed the back of her ear as she picked up a rhythm which Catherine was matching with her hips, as she thrust harder with her fingers. Sara never thought this would be happening; Catherine squirming underneath her. Picking up the pace again, she muffled Catherine's moans with a kiss.

Their bodies were gliding against each others and Sara could feel her own arousal building. Just as she felt Catherine about to climax she looked into her eyes and saw them closed.

'Catherine look at me,' she slowly opened her eyes, 'I want to watch you.' Catherine nodded at her request.

'Oh god Sara, just a little more.' Sara pressed Catherine's clit with her thumb as she thrust into her again, and she felt Catherine tighten around her fingers as she watched her eyes roll back, breathing stopped for a couple of seconds. Sara carried on letting Catherine ride her orgasm out and then slowing down as Catherine came down from it.

Sara stopped and removed her fingers, giving Catherine a chaste kiss as she tried to get her breathing regular again. Sara rolled off and pulled Catherine into her arms, her breath tingling Sara's neck.

'Wow….that was just wow.' Catherine managed to get out as Sara kissed her on the forehead, 'but now it's your turn.'

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A couple of hours later, Catherine was curled up in Sara's arms listening to the gentle breathing as she looked up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep, thoughts were running through her mind.

What they had done had been amazing and Catherine had never experienced anything like it, no-one had ever made her feel that good. With Sara, she felt like they were the only two people in the world. Sara made her feel loved, safe and secure. But there was still something worrying her and she could feel it building in the pit of her stomach.

What was going to happen now? Did Sara want a relationship? Well obviously as she had already admitted her feelings. She was scared, scared of how everyone would react if they found out. Scared of what Lindsay would say and her family. Scared of what would happen to her job. Then there was Paul, she had to deal with him too.

Not sure of her feelings, she knew she shouldn't have slept with Sara. The last thing she wanted to do was lead her on but she couldn't help the feelings that had started to grow towards the younger CSI.

Scared overcoming all her other emotions, she very gently slipped out of Sara's arms but stopped when Sara whimpered a little. Realising that she was still asleep she slipped out of her grasp and picked up all her clothes that were strewn across the floor. Quietly putting them on, she walked out.

Stopping at the bedroom door, she looked back and couldn't help but smile as Sara with her brunette hair all strewn, had now grabbed one of the pillows and snuggled into it. She didn't look back again as she grabbed her bag and keys and made her way out of the apartment.

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**Please don't hate me! But please…..let me know what you think. It's always nice to hear even if you want to rant!**


	17. Humiliated

**Disclaimer: **They're not mine unfortunately, if they were the show would be a little different right now. Like Jorja would still be there.

**I can't believe it's been so long since I updated. I am so sorry; I have had a huge mental block on this story and couldn't seem to get anything down. Plus I've had school but I'm on christmas break now so I should be able to get a few updates out there. You can also blame MyxNyx, she's been distracting me :P But now I'm past this chapter, the next couple of chapters should come a bit more quickly.**

**I have a couple of special thank yous first;**

**cathandsaraforever55: **Thank you for being patient with me and for being supportive about everything I do. It mean's a lot. ;)

Keeping best till last…

**MyxNyx: **My Gorgeous girl. Thank you for being my inspiration…you light up my life babe. 22 weeks and 3 days to go… ;)

**Okay, on with the story…**

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Catherine sat in her car, with her forehead rested on the steering wheel, tears streaming down her cheeks. She'd made a mistake; she should have left a note or something. Should have stayed, in the comfort of Sara's arms where she felt safe and wanted. Something she had never felt with Eddie or Paul.

So why had she ran? Sara reminded her so much of her first love...a girl named Mary; who she met while she was a dancer, before Eddie had come along. They had dated in secret for about a year, having to keep it quiet because of Mary's parents who were homophobic.

One day, her parents had caught them kissing, and she never saw Mary again. Every time she had tried to call her, Mary had hung up on her. It was like she was ashamed of Catherine. Then Eddie had come along, and showed her some attention, and Catherine had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.

But the time she had with Mary, she wouldn't have changed for anything. Sara was so similar to Mary; they had the same hair colour and the same colour eyes. They both had a mysterious edge about them and Catherine found that intoxicating.

It had freaked Catherine out when Sara wanted to look at her when she collapsed over the edge during sex. Mary always wanted to see her blue eyes and she remembered the first time they had made love and how special it was to look into her eyes, Eddie never bothered and neither had Paul. It scared her, how much she was falling for Sara, and how fast. She was scared about getting hurt, about putting her feelings out there and them being trampled on. They had been trampled on enough.

But she knew that Sara would never intentionally hurt her, and she had already put her feelings out there, and it was Catherine this time that had trampled all over them, going to Paul. She shouldn't have left, she needed to see Sara, see if she could sort it out. Hope that she could be forgiven for leaving.

But first she had to go and see Paul, to sort it out, once and for all. Then go and see Sara, and hope that she wasn't too late.

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Sara turned over in her bed, and smiled to herself as she wrapped her arms around something soft. Softly moaning, she pulled it against her body, and took in the warmth from it. She could stay like it all day if she could but she knew she'd have to get up soon and sort herself out before it was time for work.

"Cat….." She refused to open her eyes so she gently nudged, hoping to wake the person who had exhausted her out just a few hours before. "Cat, come on….it's time to wake up."

Not getting a response, she cracked open one of her eyes and shut it again as the sunlight beamed through the window. Letting out a groan she cracked her eyes open again slightly, slowly opening them to allow them time to adjust to the bright light that was shining.

After a few minutes, her eyes eventually began to focus and she looked at the empty spot next to her. Sitting up right, she listened out for any sound's that came from elsewhere in the apartment, anything to let her know that Catherine was still there. But there wasn't any…just silence, and a clock ticking.

Wanting to see for herself, she pulled on an old t-shirt and went into the kitchen, then the bathroom and finally the living room. No Catherine.

Running her hand through her hair, she walked back to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed.

How could she have been so stupid? She thought that Catherine had felt something for her, the same thing that Sara felt for Catherine. How wrong could she have been? She felt used and betrayed and one lone tear made its way down her cheek. It had been the best sex of her life, but that had been forgotten…Catherine had left. Had left without saying anything, just got what she wanted and left. How could she love someone who was going to treat her like that? She thought that Catherine had enjoyed it too. Obviously she was wrong if she just left.

Trying to hold back the tears that she knew were about to fall, she headed to the shower, intent on going to work early and burying herself in paperwork. Anything to make the pain of humiliation disappear.

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"What the hell were you thinking, lying to me like that? How could you stand there and tell me Sara and Nick were together?"

Catherine hadn't even waited for Paul to say anything as she stormed past him through the door and into the living room. Paul looked at her with shock written on his face.

"I did see them together, what the hell is your problem?" Paul exclaimed, looking at the livid blonde who was standing in his living room.

"Don't give me that shit. Sara told me they weren't together; you made me look like a right idiot. You…actually you know what it doesn't matter. What sort of reason did you have for lying? Were you jealous? Jealous of the fact, that Sara saved me and not you? Huh? What was it? Because I have no idea here." Catherine was pacing back and forth, her hand running through her hair, trying to keep her anger contained.

"Catherine will you stop pacing, please?" Paul went to grab her arm but she pulled back.

"Keep your hands off of me." Catherine sneered, instantly making Paul take a step back from the seething blonde.

"Okay, you want to know? I saw the way she looked at you, the way she spoke to you. I couldn't help it; I couldn't lose you to some dyke."

Catherine couldn't help it; she couldn't bear to hear Paul call Sara that, so she got right in his personal space, anger pouring out of her.

"Don't you ever, ever call her that, understand? It's over between us, you're a selfish bastard. You really felt threatened? Well, look how that worked out for you, because it's over and I don't want to ever see you again. You disgust me."

Paul grabbed her arm again, this time not letting go as Catherine struggled to hide how much it was hurting. "You're not fucking leaving." She finally managed to get her arm free, she'd have bruises soon.

"Watch me," she sneered as she walked to the door, looking back once to Paul. "You ruined everything," she whispered as she slammed the door behind her.

Now it was time to make things up with Sara.

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Sara hastily got out of the shower, pulling on her work stuff. She was angry, frustrated, she felt humiliated, used. And she had had to get that feeling off of her. She had never felt this way before; she thought Catherine was better than that. Better than the other girls she had been with. Thought they had something special.

But she never learnt, always let people get under her skin, which game them a chance to hurt her and they always did, without fail. Things were going to change; Sara was going to make sure of it. She had enough of feeling the way she did.

Packing up her stuff, she walked out to her car, pulling out of the driveway and off to car, completely missing Catherine's car that was coming from the other way to see her.

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**I know it's been a while since I updated, but please don't hold that against me. I'd love to hear what you think.**


	18. Consequences

**Disclamer:** I don't own CSI, if I did...the new characters would be out, and the old back in!!

First off, a huuuuge thankyou, for everyone that reviewed the last chapter, without you guys I wouldn't have the motivation to write. Especially **Cathandsaraforever55,** for worrying about me, and being a supportive friend, thankyou! Oh, and I really miss your writing.

**MyxNyx -** This is for you baby, Happy 4 month Anniversary!! It's been a tough month for me, and with you by my side, it's made things seem a little easier. Sure, we have arguments, but I know you'll always be there, forever. I love you baby, and if possible, a little more each day!

**On with the story, me thinks!**

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Sara sat in the locker room, her head in her hands, as she tried to massage the headache away that was starting to form. Her brain was filled with questions, about herself and about Catherine. She couldn't think straight and it was driving her insane. It wouldn't be long before Catherine turned up either, and Sara had no idea what to say to her. She was so angry, with herself mostly for believing that Catherine was different to anyone else. But then again, did she deserve different? She was starting to believe she didn't. She had gotten over it before; she could get over it again. She just didn't think she could have fallen for it again.

So engrossed in her thoughts, she failed to hear the locker room door shut and someone walk in. Only when she smelt a small waft of perfume, did she realise that someone had walked in and she knew exactly who it was. She would recognise the smell anywhere. But Sara still managed to be startled when she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. Looking up, she made eye contact with blue as she shrugged her shoulder and Catherine's hand fell off.

Not wanting to talk, Sara stood up and went to her locker, trying to look like she was busy trying to find something when all she was doing was shuffling things about. Talking was really not one of her strong points, and talking about feelings was even lower than that. Sensing Catherine step closer, she slammed her locker and turned to face Catherine, seething with anger. She looked down, seeing Catherine was in the clothes she wore this morning, where had she been? Truth be told she didn't care, as she looked up to make eye contact again.

"What?" Sara asked anger evident in her voice. So much so that Catherine took a step back, having never seen Sara this angry before and she had every right to be. "What is it you want Catherine?"

"I think we need to talk about this morning, don't you?" Catherine asked, her eyes locked on Sara's trying to convey her emotions, try and make her see how sorry she truly was, what an idiot she had been.

"Why? Why do we need to talk about this morning? It's fully clear what you think of me and what this morning meant to you. Nothing."

"I just need a chance to explain...." The look in her eyes, was nothing Sara had seen before, she could see the pleading, almost begging reflected.

"Explain what, exactly? Why you fucked me and then left me? Using me to make you feel good? You can't come to me just because you got sick of the missionary position!" Sara sneered, she knew that she was being out of order, but she had let Catherine in, let her break down all the walls that were guarding her heart, only to shatter it, and new walls had come up to protect it once again.

"Sara, please don't be like this. I like you a lot, and I'm sorry. I had my reasons, can we please just talk?"

"It's too late." Sara answered, leaning against the locker. If it wasn't for the fact that they were at work, she would have a lot more to say, stuff that could hurt Catherine the same way she had been hurt.

"What's too late?" If she wasn't so mad at Catherine, she would take her in her arms and never let go, looking at the expression on Catherine's face. It was painful to see, and it was obvious she was sorry, but the trust was broken.

"To talk. I heard all I needed to hear when you left me this morning. You broke the trust. You know, with you was the best I've ever had, because I thought we had something, a connection."

"We do!"

"No we don't, you ruined any chance of there being something by leaving me. Making me wake up on my own, you're a coward. If you didn't enjoy it, you should have just said. At least stayed and made up an excuse as to why it couldn't happen again. Believe me, I'd feel a lot better than I do right now. Do you have any idea how that felt, to feel used? That you just wanted me one time, to scratch an itch you had?"

"Will you shut up and give me a chance to explain?!" Catherine almost screamed, desperate to get her point across, not wanting the morning to be thrown away for her act of stupidity.

"No Catherine, I've had enough of people thinking they can walk all over me, like I'm some kind of doormat-"

Needing to get a word in, Catherine decided enough was enough and pushed Sara back into the lockers, holding her hands above her head.

"Catherine, let go of me!" Sara shouted, as she tried to wriggle free from Catherine's grasp. But boy was she strong for a small woman. "We're at work, for God's sake!"

"No, I want you to hear me out." Seeing the intensity in Catherine's eyes, Sara stopped struggling. "Thank you. Now I agree we have something, something that I want to explore with you. This morning brought back memories that I thought I had locked away, a long time ago, and it scared me. It made me realise, that I do have deep feelings for you. I'm really sorry I left you, it was wrong of me, but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. When I realised I had feelings for you, I knew I had to break it off with Paul, right away. Even though he's a jerk, no-one deserves to be cheated on; I know what that's like."

"Catherine, I can never forgive you for-"

Sara was cut off by Catherine crashing her lips against hers, paralysed by the feeling of her against her, it took a moment before she managed to push Catherine off. She could see the hurt flash across her face.

"Can you try and forgive me please?" Catherine asked, the tears swelling up in her eyes as she realised she had royally screwed everything up. Maybe the best thing that could have happened to her.

"Catherine, what the hell was that? Have you not listened to a fucking word I've said? It's too late. You walked out on me, remember? And you think you can use your sexuality to get past this, to get back into my pants? It might work for the guys, but it won't work on me."

"I just wanted to make you see that we do have something, and it's not worth throwing away."

"It's too late." Shaking her head and leaving Catherine in tears, Sara walked out of the locker room, towards the beak room where assignments were soon to be given out.

"I'm sorry." Catherine whispered into the now empty room.

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Walking into the break room, Sara headed straight for the coffee, ignoring Nick and Greg who were engrossed by a video game. Pouring the coffee, she sighed trying to hold back the tears that were going to fall otherwise. Taking a seat on the couch, she put all her personal problems to one side and tried to get focus back on the work. Hopefully the night would be busy, and she'd have something to focus on.

Sipping her coffee, she looked up when she saw Warrick and Catherine enter the room. They weren't talking and now that Sara could see from a distance, she noticed the bags forming under Catherine's eyes, her brow furrowed and if she looked hard enough she could see the slight redness of where she had been crying.

Catherine could obviously feel her gaze on her as she looked up and made eye contact, giving a slight smile before going for the coffee. It pained Sara to see the hurt on Catherine's face, but there was nothing she could do. She watched as Catherine took a seat next to her on the couch before looking back up to see Grissom enter the room, late as usual.

"Right, a quiet night. Nick and Greg, you have a 419 in Summerlin. Warrick you have paperwork to catch up on your last case. Catherine, Sara, you have a 419 on the strip. I will be in my office also doing paperwork. Enjoy!"

Looking across at Catherine she was met with another small smile as they both stood up and headed for the door after the boys had left.

"Catherine, wait a second. This isn't going to affect our work, is it? Working together?" Sara asked, turning round to face Catherine in the doorway.

"I don't want it too. We're both professional. Can I ask you something?"

Sara nodded her head, "sure."

"I was wondering if you would come with me after work for breakfast. Nancy has Lindsay. It's just there's a few things I want to say to you, that I didn't have time for in the locker room."

"Catherine, I really don't think that's a good idea."

Sara felt a hand grasp her arm lightly, "please?"

Sara nodded again, leaving Catherine in the doorway as she went to get her stuff from the locker room. Part of knew she shouldn't give Catherine the time of day after the way she had treated her, but a small part, the bit that seemed to be overriding everything else, really wanted to hear what Catherine had to say. She sighed heavily, it was going to be a long shift.

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**Okay, so what'd you think? See, if I was my beautiful girl, I'd be begging right about now :p but I'd really like to know, constructive criticism, whatever, i'll take anything! Please review!**


	19. Talking It Out

**Disclaimer: **CSI is not mine...unfortunately!

**Okay, I know I haven't updated in a looooooooooong time, and for that I am very very sorry! But here's an update now, so maybe you could forgive me even if its a little bit!**

**Mistakes are all mine, seeing as my beta ran away for the weekend to be a bridesmaid. Stupid timing!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Sara looked up from the microscope, after scrutinising it for half an hour, stopping to look at the clock. She only had 15 minutes left in her shift, and then she would be meeting Catherine for breakfast, and she hated to admit it, but she was nervous as hell. Catherine provoked feelings out of her, that she had never felt before, and it scared her. Scared of letting her in her heart and then only to break it and then scared she might fall too hard and too fast. But it was already too late for that.

They had gotten through the night, without any trouble, both of them being professional and just talking about work. They couldn't let what had happened between them affect their work, and Sara would never let it. If she let it distract her, it could be the difference between an innocent person being caught and the guilty party being freed, all because of one morning.

Looking at the clock, she realised she had been so lost in her thoughts that it was now the end of the shift. Feeling eyes burning through her, she turned round in her seat to find Catherine in the doorway, shifting from side to side, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable, but she still looked so beautiful.

"Um...hey," Sara muttered, as Catherine stepped into the room. Her jeans looked like they had been painted on and her white shirt, showing off her gorgeous curves. If Sara hadn't felt so betrayed, she would have taken Catherine right there and then.

"Hey yourself, you ready to go?" Catherine asked, as Sara nodded slowly, standing up to put the evidence away.

"Yeah, where do you want to go? I'll meet you there."

"How about we go to the same place as we went yesterday morning? It was nice enough."

"Okay, I'll see you there."

"Sara, thank you for agreeing to talk to me, it means a lot."

She couldn't help but watch as Catherine walked out the room, and she let out a big sigh, this was going to be harder than she thought. But she had to be tough, she refused to be walked all over again, she was tired of being that person.

Stopping on the way out to grab her stuff out of her locker, she thought about what she was going to say to Catherine when she got there, and honestly she had no idea. She was going to wait and see what Catherine said, her head was all over the place. She was confused about her own feelings and whether she had the will to forgive Catherine, because that was what she obviously wanted Sara to do.

Getting in her car, she took a minute to try and calm and nerves. She just hoped it didn't show, she hated being vulnerable. Putting her car into drive she headed towards the diner where she was meeting Catherine, she was just glad they had gone separately, as it allowed her to get herself together. She only wished that it was a longer drive, as a few minutes later she pulled into the parking lot, stopping right by Catherine's car.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car and into the diner. As soon as she entered, she saw the back of a blonde head, and instantly knew it was Catherine. Quickly taking a glance around and seeing it was pretty quiet, she sighed before walking to where Catherine was. Taking a seat opposite her, she met blue eyes they both smiled gently at each other.

"Hi," Sara started tentatively, taking her eyes off Catherine and looking down at her hands resting on the table. She wasn't sure what to say to the blonde woman, she had never felt so betrayed. On one hand she wanted to punch a wall, and on the other side she wanted to cry at letting the older woman in. But she wouldn't do either.

"Hey," Catherine returned, keeping her eyes on Sara who was fidgeting.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say, Cat." The blonde smiled at hearing the younger woman using her nickname. Maybe she did have a chance with her after all. She knew she wanted it, and she was going to fight to get it.

"I want you to tell me what you're feeling right now."

Before Sara could reply, the waitress interrupted them by taking their order. Catherine ordered some French toast, and Sara a bagel. There few minutes that followed the waitress leaving, there was silence. Sara was trying to work out what she wanted to say to the older woman. Easier said than done. Running her tongue over her bottom lip, she sighed before looking back up at the blonde.

"I let you in. I let you get under my skin. God, how could I have been so stupid?" Sara muttered, just loud enough for Catherine to make out. She didn't want the brunette putting herself down, it had been all her. She was the one to blame.

"I know, and I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to start things with you while I was still with Paul. So I had to go and end it with him."

"You couldn't wake me up? Or wait just a little while longer??" Sara questioned and Catherine winced at the tone of Sara's tone. It was broken and very unlike her. It made her stomach flip knowing she was the one who had done it.

"I had to break it off." The blonde stated, getting slightly agitated repeating herself. She wanted the younger woman, to realise how much she meant to her. She just wanted another chance.

"That's no reason for you to just leave me!" Sara flapped, trying to gauge Catherine's reaction. She looked defeated, something Sara had never seen before. She didn't want to back down, she needed to be strong, she couldn't let the older woman back in again. The next time she would take her heart with her, and Sara didn't think she could deal with that.

"I know, I know." Catherine murmured, as they were interrupted by the waitress bringing their food. Each of them gave her a smile, before looking down at their food, neither of them particularly hungry.

"So what's the real reason you left?" Sara asked a few minutes later, breaking the silence that had fallen on the once again.

"What?"

"What was the real reason? Was I not good enough for you or something?" She hated asking the question, but Sara had to know. If that was it, they could cut off from each other and carry on like they had before.

"No, it's not that!" Catherine almost shouted. She desperately didn't want Sara thinking she wasn't good enough. She was more than enough. She was clever, sensitive, thoughtful and her looks were a definite bonus. She wanted Sara to see that, and maybe show her.

"You just wanted one time with me, is that it?"

"I want more than one time, I do..."

"Then what the hell is it?!" Sara demanded, as the diner suddenly got quiet. Looking around, she saw everyone looking at them before she turned round to Catherine.

"I felt myself falling for you, and I got scared, okay? Is that what you want to hear? The bitch Catherine Willows actually got scared about the intimacy."

"Why?"

"I haven't felt this way since my first girlfriend." Catherine confessed, and she could have sworn that she saw Sara's soften. She found Mary hard to talk about, and even harder with Sara. The brunette was the only one she could feel this connection with, the same one she had felt with Mary. Maybe even a stronger connection. She wanted to explore it with her.

"You could have talked to me, instead of just walking out. You made me feel used, dirty." And she had, she had felt like she was just a toy that Catherine picked up when she wanted her. She refused to be that again, for anyone.

"I know, I went about things the wrong way. I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can say." A single tear fell down Catherine's cheek, and all Sara wanted to do was hold her and never let go. But she needed to be strong, for herself.

"I'm not sure where we go from here." Sara stated sadly, and she broke the eye contact between them.

"I want to give things a go with you. You know, dates and walks in the park, and lazy days in bed. I want it with you." Catherine said, as she reached across and grabbed Sara's hand, caressing her thumb over the top of it. She gulped sadly, as Sara immediately pulled her hand away, acting like she had been burnt.

"There's no point if there's no trust. And right now, I don't trust you."

"Sara..."

"No, I'm going to be wondering every time whether you're going to be there when I wake up. I can't, I'm sorry." Sara gulped back the tears that were threatening to fall, as she walked out not daring to look back at the older woman. She just wanted to get home, read a magazine and get some sleep. Hopefully, to put the last 24 hours behind her.

"Sara wait!" But she didn't, and the blonde just watched her leave knowing it wasn't the right time to go after her. She obviously needed space, and Catherine was going to give her that, but not too much.

Grabbing her bag, Catherine walked out of the diner intent on going home getting some sleep. Then she was going to plan on how she was going to win Sara over, and then spend some quality time with Lindsay when she got home from school, before she had to go to work. Turning the ignition in her car, she gripped her steering wheel. Sara Sidle was going to be hers again, she was sure of it.

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**I was desperately trying to write a cute Limerick begging you to review, but for the life of me I couldn't write one. But if you review, I promise and cross my heart that the next update will be much quicker coming! :D**


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